It's Murder at the Buy-Right

56

"Deke Dewitt," said Daisy Ann. "You know the doctor wants you to rest a few more weeks."

"What do they know?" he said. "Besides, there's no rest for me at home if I'm worried about what's going on down here?"

"What's the matter, old man?" she said. "Don't you think Henry and I and the stock crew are capable of handling things?"

"I did until I saw that Santa suit hanging in the front window. What are you up to, Daisy Ann?"

"Oh, that," she said. "That's nothing. I ran up on it when Henry and I were cleaning out in the back. I thought I might put it to good use down at the Mission League's Vacation Bible School."

"I thought you gave up skydiving. Besides, Christmas is months away."

"Oh, I did," she said. "But the theme of this year's school is 'Don't Wanna Be a Red Devil – Be a Straight Arrow on the Straight and Narrow."

"Who you gonna get to wear that thing? There's practically nothing left. The roof gravel did a number on it."

"I know," she said. "But who says that red meanie's got to be dressed like he stepped out of a hat box?"

"Maybe you could sweet talk Elwood into wearing it," said Deke.

"Nah. I think he's still in mourning over losing his stovepipe hat. Besides, he's so tall, he'd look like he was wearing red Capri pants, don't you think?"

"I don't know what Capri pants are," Deke said.

"High waters," Daisy Ann said.

"How 'bout Alvin Earl?" Deke asked.

"Alvin Earl's lost three hundred pounds. He's into body building, fast cars, and Buenna Iverdale's youngest niece, Nolana Nixin's under panties."

"Whooa. That is way too much info, Daisy Ann."

"You're telling me. Buenna says Nolana should carry a bar of soap with her wherever she goes."

"Soap?"

"Yeah. Cause that g-string she wears gives her butt cheeks one nice-nasty rope burn."

"How did we get off down this goat path? Oh," said Deke, "I know. Ask Foslo."

"Foslo and I haven't spoken since he shoved me out of his plane yelling 'piece of cake.'"

"Well, here's Grit. Ask him."

"Ask me what?" Grit said.

"Grit," Daisy Ann said, she was looking especially nice today in her Dollar Store ensemble, a matching melon spaghetti-string top and double-knit-like yoga stretch pants. "How would you like to volunteer to be the devil in a Santa suit down at that Mission League's Vacation Bible School?"

Grit looked at Deke and Daisy Ann, feeling sorry for the old folks who'd suddenly gone daft.

"I'll pass," he said.

"I don't blame you," said Daisy Ann. "We work ourselves down to the bone around here for peanuts and potted meat!"

"You're not getting a raise," Deke's voice floated over from his cubby.

"Henry!" Daisy Ann said. "Did you hear that?"

"Yeah. It's murder at the Buy-Right!" Henry said.