The Misfortune of Being a... Cute Menace

On a normal, Wednesday morning (though the normal days are starting to become rare and less "normal," what with Wander's very existence) Peepers was surprised (though not overly shocked, again, because it seemed Wander has been trying to desensitize him to all the weird shenanigans that occur around him) to feel himself tripping, and nearly falling over something.

Looking around to not only find out what had tripped him, but to identify any potential threats, Peepers found that there was a large, stuffed animal sitting by his door. The stuffed animal's extended leg is what had tripped him. Bewildered, Commander Peepers went over his options before reaching a conclusion. The stuffed animal was likely one of Wander's shenanigans, but he had to make sure.

Turning the stuffed animal every which way and checking each of its limbs, Peepers didn't find anything wrong or blatantly suspicious about it (other than its being there in the first place, that is). Still, he needed to survey the situation appropriately (Grop knows that even the smallest of occurrences or Wander's pranks could have nightmarish effects on the Skullship).

He figured that he would call a small meeting with some of the Watchdogs and Lord Hater in order to find out if anyone else had had a similar experience of having encountered a stuffed animal out of place (he had no need of surveying a lot of Watchdogs because, as big and full of inhabitants as the ship was, the rumors spread quickly, and if someone else were to find a giant stuffed animal, the news would have spread rather quickly.

Sighing and knowing that at least one thing was going to go absurdly wrong today, Peepers resigned himself to his fate and began to carry the (larger-than-him) stuffed animal, heading to the meeting room.

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It should be mentioned that Peepers is the smartest inhabitant aboard the Skullship, and one of the most intelligent beings in the galaxy, according to numerous experiences.

Yes, Peepers is certainly smart.

Unfortunately, he was somewhat adorable, despite being somewhat frightening in personality. Not that it mattered much, in this instance.

And, unfortunately, Peepers came to the realization that he had made a grave mistake much too late.

You see, Peepers had to carry the larger-than-him stuffed animal to the meeting room, which resulted in a rather... (he'd better not hear you-or anyone else, for that matter- say it) cute... image.

As it so happened, several Watchdogs were already working or getting ready to begin their workday. Of course, that meant that several Watchdogs got to see him. Some of them had phones, and, as stated before, news spread quickly inside the Skullship.

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Peepers had never felt so completely humiliated in his life (with only a few possible instances posing as competitors, most of them having to do with a certain wandering weirdo). Arriving at the meeting room, Peepers hoped his public image had not been completely sabotaged (and that his embarrassing moments and pictures had not spread outside of the Skullship), and he decided to give the stuffed animal another quick look-over for anything suspicious before calling any Watchdogs over. Flipping the bear around, a piece of paper-a note!- fell to the floor at Peepers' feet. Picking it up, Peepers read the note and his eye twitched for a moment before he released a frustrated yell. Not only had he missed the note when he first inspected the bear, but having seen the note before would have spared him his dignity. It read:

"Hiya, C. Peeps! I know you probably don't remember, and that's okay (I'm not expecting a gift or anything)," (and Peepers would have interpreted the statement in parenthesis to mean the exact opposite had he not known who wrote it within the first word and had it not sounded so genuine), "But I wanted to get you a little (not so little, but you know what I am mean) somethin' to celebrate the first time we met. Happy anniversary! With the best of wishes and most earnest friendship, Wander <3"

Peepers was ready to kill a very specific someone.

Still... looking over at the giant stuffed animal, he found that, not only was it truly adorable, but he had grown rather attached to it in the short amount of time he'd held it hostage.

Sighing, he figured he could sneak it into and hide it in his closet.

He supposed he gained something small after such a big hit to his pride and dignity.

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The news did spread throughout the entirety of the Skullship (Lord Hater included) and to those in the galaxy with access to mobile devices. Peepers very much wanted to strangle Wander slowly to death and kill himself. He swore, the next time he saw that quixotic and utterly annoying traveler...