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10th grade or sophomore year in high school, that's when I first saw her. She was a freshman and was here in the States to study high school. She's also a Filipino. We're actually the only Filipino students in the school. We met on the first day of my sophomore year.
"Excuse me? Where's the chemistry lab?" she asked me.
She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
"Uhm. It's, it's the room down the hall." I said trying not to stutter.
"Thank you." she said and then smiled.
Her smile was the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. People might not believe it but I have fallen in love with her that very moment.
I tried to watch her every move but trying for her not to notice me. Weird and stalker like behavior but it's all I can do. How can a beautiful, smart and talented girl like her fall in love with a nerd like me? It's not possible. I can only look from a far.
Then the next day, I was surprised because she suddenly approached me.
"Uhm. Excuse me?" she said.
"Ah. Hello. What is it?" I said trying again not stutter.
"Thank you again. You know for pointing me to the chemistry lab. By the way, I'm Kate. You are?"
She extends her hand for me to shake it. I immediately wiped my hand on my jeans and shook her hand.
I continued watching her from a far until senior year. But then I said to myself, you are about to graduate I need to muster all the confidence that I have. So I did. I prepared what I will say to her. I also prepare a song to sing to her and some flowers.
The day that I have been waiting for came. I knocked on the door of her classroom. It was her history class. I sang in front of everyone not minding what they will think. I said a few words and gave the flowers to Kate. But all that she said was..
It was so embarrassing. I just want the ground to swallow me whole. How could I have not known that? I couldn't have known that because it wasn't true.
"Whydid you say to Caleb that you are already seeing someone?"
I overheard Kate's friend said while they were in the hallway.
"Because I don't want to hurt his feelings." Kate said.
"You could've told him the truth that you can't be a girlfriend of some nerd."
"I'm not that cruel."
"But it's true right?"
She nodded.
Ouch. It's like beating me up with a baseball bat then after that electrocuting me. But the pain in my heart is nowhere near that. It was worse.
After graduating high school, I did everything in college to make Kate like me. I studied harder, changed my look and changed my style. I did everything to change so that she will like me. And even though lots of girls try to make me notice them, I had only one girl in my mind, Kate.
So after I graduate college, I went back to the Philippines to find her. And I did.
"Caleb, is that you?" she said when we meet in a café in a certain mall.
"Yeah. It's me." I answered again and again trying to stutter.
She still has that effect on me.
"Nice to meet you again. I didn't know you came back here in the Philippines."
"Nice to meet you too. I decided to visit my relatives here. Uhm. Kate.."
Then suddenly this guy comes to her.
"Babe.." he said to Kate.
"I'm sorry Caleb. I would like to introduce to you my boyfriend Nicholas. Nicholas, this my high school classmate in the states, Caleb."
"Hi." Nicholas said.
"Hello."
"We need to go but here's my number. We should go out for a drink." Kate said.
I was sad that she already has a boyfriend but her inviting me for drink made me happy.
We agreed to meet up at this bar. But to muster the confidence again I decided to drink. But unfortunately, it seems like I drank too much and started saying stupid things as Kate arrived.
"Kate, I'm so happy we met again. See I changed for you. Please take me back." I started saying to Kate.
"Caleb, what are you saying?" she said.
"I love you Kate. I have been in love with you since sophomore year. I did everything for you to love me. I'm no longer a nerd. You won't get embarrassed anymore that your boyfriend is a nerd."
"But I already have a boyfriend."
"I don't care. I love you Kate. I really really really love you."
I just saw myself hugging her.
"Caleb, you are already drunk. Stop!"
"Please Kate. I love you."
"Security!" she shouted.
The bouncers lead me outside. And that's the last time I saw her.
