Crazy Acts of a Little Brother

Ignorance

1. When we ordered Chinese food, he kept asking when the "ching-chong" food would get here.

2. When I had him listen to Blue Oyster Cult, he said it was "old people rock".

3. He said that poor people don't take baths and when I said they did, he responded with "Maybe once a month!"

4. He insisted that our dog (Rayne) understood English and I said that if he told Rayne how stupid she was in a sweet voice, she would respond as if he'd complimented her. So he tried it. I was right.

5. After a National Honor Society induction, my dad and I were discussing the diversity of the inductees. My dad was talking about how modernized and Americanized some of the cultures had become. The Muslim girl that was inducted shook hands with our Principal (male), which he said was traditionally forbidden. My brother decided to offer his two-cents on the matter and told us what the traditional greeting was. He "thought that they spit in their faces". This is why we don't listen to Wikipedia...

6. Saw me wearing a hat and said, "when did you turn gay?" I responded by telling him that I'm not gay and that normal people wear hats. 

7. When I disagree with him, he always calls me Faggot or Queerface. Personally, I don't think I have a queer face, but then again I don't know what that would look like either.

8. He thinks being mixed race is worse than being black. I challenged him by responding that Eve (as in Adam and Eve of Christianity) was a mixture of all the races. He was thrown off his game for a little, but he still said that we should "keep it pure".

9. This conversation: 

Him: Do you fully support gay rights?

Me: Yes.

Him: What?! Read a bible! Do you even know what they do??

Me: I read fanfiction. I know what they do.

Him: You're going to go to Hell.

Me: Who people fuck is none of your business. 

(for the record, i have read the bible, but whether or not homosexuality is a sin, is irrelevant because as a Christian it's our job to love not judge.) 

10. He thinks that saying people in the middle east have sex with goats makes him a reliable source for politics. I don't know.