Despite everything that's happening, nilabas ko phone ko and browse all of my contacts. Hinanap ko pangalan niya, alam ko hindi na niya to naoopen. I'll tell him how much i need him right now. I'll tell him how much i want his comfort right now. I want him to know that I'm not fine and i need him. I need you. I need you valencia. Simula nang malaman kong hindi na niya to naoopen, i spammed him with all of my rants. How much i am mad at him. How much i missed him, them. Like how much i wanted them to know na nakamit ko na yung goal ko.
hey :(
I need you, can you come?
Silly, how can you come? :(
Dad has a cancer, ayos lang kaya siya? I don't know, sana ayos lang siya. I'm crying so hard, i love my dad you know that. I wish you're here, i wish we could eat ice cream while i cry. How i wish that would happen.Mugto man ang mga mata ko ay inaantay ko si mommy na makarating. She didn't tell me kung saang hospital sila, kanina pa ako natutuliro kung ano na nangyari. Kanina ko pa siya tinetext and tinatawagan. What happened na mom? Hindi ko na nagawa yung pending plates ko kase hindi ako maka-concentrate, i need to atleast know kung ano na condition ni dad.
Napatingin ako sa front door namin nang may bumagsak, napatayo agad ako at pinuntahan ito. I saw mom, crying. Tears started to form in my eyes. "Mom, what happened?" I said while she just cried and cried. I started crying too, what's happening mommy. Inakay ko siya papuntang dining table so that i can give her a glass of water.
"Your dad is suffering in a very dangerous cancer honey," halos hindi na niya mabigkas nang maayos ang mga sinasabi niya. "It's a brain tumor." napatakip ako ng bibig, oh God.
"Mommy.." i hugged her. We both cried pero hindi ko siya pwedeng hayaan, i need to be strong. Ako nalang ang pagkakapitan ni mommy. "We need to be strong for dad, mom. He will fight, for sure."
"I wish he will," humagulgul nang malakas si mommy and that hurts my heart a lot. Inantay kong tumahan siya, i just patted her back and I told her to trust dad for he will survive. "We need to go home," nagulat ako sa sinabi ng mommy.
"Where? Philippines?" tumango lang ito. "But mom, the hospitals here are more equipped than ph." tugon ko.
"That's your dad's request." what? i don't get it. Cofused face is visible, hindi ko maintindihan bakit ganun.
"But mom.."
"Please help me, anak hm? I don't understand this too but he don't want to get treated if it's not in the Philippines." therefore, we don't have a choice. Tumango na lamang ako kay mommy, what do i expect, hindi naman nila alam yung mga nangyari sakin back then.
"Alright, I'll pack up my things. I'll also request for a transferee letter." mom just nod.
Dahil sa pagod inakay ko na lamang si mommy sa kwarto niya, i stayed up there until makatulog siya. I can't let her cry alone cuz she's just as vulnerable as me. You know, she may seems like she doesn't care to me at all and mukha siyang matapang, i swear she's too soft on the inside. It's too much for her to handle it. Bumalik na ako sa kwarto ko, naisip ko should i continue my plate or mag mag iimpake nalang my gosh. I don't still get it bakit ganun ang gusto ni dad eh. I set it all aside and nag simula na akong mag hanap ng mga damit na masusuot ko. I think we'll be there for the meantime until mag recover si dad. Makikita ko kaya sila? For sure yes, i miss karly. Sa pag halungkat ko nakita ko yung box na kung saan nandun lahat ng mga gamit ko when i was in the Philippines. Nandito pa pala ito, i completely forgot kase akala ko natapon na ni mommy. Pag bukas ko rito bumungad ang picture namin, kompleto pa kami rito and we're very happy. I won't blame leandale tho, hindi naman siya ang unang nag approach samin. Bumungad naman sakin ang lahat ng sketch ko, mostly its my sketch of dray's face. I'm this obsessed to him back then?? My gosh. Meron din akong sketch ng school and our favorite spot. I missed him. Tinago ko na lamang lahat, hindi ko nga talaga sila kayang harapin.
-
"Tapos mo na ba asikasohin lahat?" matamlay na sabi ni mommy, she's probably tired. We're on our way papuntang airport."Yes mommy," i smiled at her. Naasikaso ko na lahat ng pag transfer ko sa pinas. My dad have so many connections kaya mabilis lang ang process, hindi na rin kami nahirapan sa pag transfer kay daddy kase one of the famous airlines worldwide is my dad's kumpare.
"Good, ready to meet your friends again?" napatingin ako kay mommy, am i ready? Napatango na lamang ako and tumingin ako sa labas.
I was dozed off, the next thing i knew nasa airport na kami. I am tired and my anxiety is attacking me. What am i gonna do if ever makita ko sila? All of them left a big scar in my heart so how can i face them. Lalo na hindi alam ni mommy ang lahat ng nangyari kaya pano ako tatanggi sa gusto niyang pag pasok ko sa university that same as them? Marami na siyang iniisip kaya it's so hard to make a favor. She's suffering.
—
As they've announced na we're here na sa Philippines nag simulang tumibok nang mabilis ang puso ko. Wth is wrong with me? Calm dude. Hindi mo naman sila makikita kaya kalma, once tapos na naming asikasohin si daddy sa hospital papasok na rin ako sa school. Hindi mag ccross landas namin ever, sisiguraduhin ko yan.
We've finally arrived to the hospital kung saan icconfine si daddy and inasikaso na nila si daddy.
"Mom, you need to rest." ngumiti lang siya nang bahagya at binaling na ang atensyon may daddy. Mom... I know she's tired and sad. Daddy, please gising ka na.
Umupo na lamang ako sa sofa, nilabas ko ang phone ko and again, started to browse his name in my inbox.
hey, guess we're already here in the philippines.
Makikita ko kaya kayo? I want to but i can't eh, there's still scar in my heart.
I missed y'allTinago ko na cellphone ko at nagsimulang bumigat and talikop ng mata ko. I'm tired and sad, im just gonna sleep para di ko siya mafeel sandali.
—
happy new year, everyone!! im sorry for super duper late ud sana nandiyan pa kayo hehe
BINABASA MO ANG
Needing You (you, Series #1)
Novela Juvenil(you, series #1) I need you, can you come? But yeah, nandun ka sa kanya habang ako naghihintay lang ng atensyon mo. - ONGOING