𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑, 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 , nate archibald

chapter two

Ronnie had an hour to spare before she had to go and meet Serena and Blair. Beverly and Carl were spending some time with their grand-daughter as they claim they "haven't had time to bond with her yet." Ronnie wasn't complaining. She wanted Talulah to get to know her grandparents since Ronnie loved growing up spending weekends at her grandparents house. She didn't want Talulah to miss out on the opportunity.

Ronnie took this chance to look over some letters she wrote to Nate while she was in Europe. Ronnie probably wrote at least one letter a week while she was gone. She had hundreds of letters, with Nate Archibald written on the front of the envelope and Nate's address written on it which she had memorised ever since was 8 years old. After all, Nate had been her best friend since she was 4 years old. Finally, Ronnie found her first letter to Nate. Her first week in Europe.

Dear, Nate.

I'm sorry I left without telling you. I just didn't know what to say to you. Or to anyone really. I mainly feel guilty for not telling you because you have every right to know why all this has happened. I just didn't have the courage to tell you. And i'm so sorry for that.

Not much has happened in this first week in Europe, i'm living with my aunt, uncle and two cousins, Amy and Emerson. They're still little, so I don't get much peace around here. Children running around. I guess I have to get used to that. I haven't made any friends at school yet. It's a private school, can you believe that? My parents are so embarrassed of me they don't just send me away, they send me to a private school.

I guess you're wondering, why am I even in Europe? Well, this is the part i'm afraid of telling you. And this is also why you have every right to know. Im pregnant, Nate. And it's your baby. I'm so sorry, it's not your fault. It's not my fault either. We didn't plan for this to happen. I've thought about abortions and adoptions, but I don't think I could do that to my baby. Our baby.

I'm one month and three weeks along so far. I found out two weeks before I left New York. So, from today I would have known for three weeks. I feel so guilty that I have a human growing inside of me and you have no idea that this human is half your DNA. I don't know how to tell you. If I did, I wouldn't hesitate to tell you.
If someone told me how, then I would.

I'm not sure if your ever going to even read this letter, and if i'm even writing it for you. Or for myself to make me feel less guilty? I don't even know. All I know is that i'm sorry. Really sorry. All I want to do is be back in New York, in your arms telling you how sorry I am, begging for your forgiveness. Doing this whole pregnancy thing together. But I know that's not going to happen.

Goodbye for a while, Nate. I don't know how long yet. But definitely a while.

Love, Ronnie.

Ronnie wiped a tear from her eye which she didn't know had fallen. Ronnie remembered clearly writing this letter. She was a mess in that moment, her head was everywhere. She didn't know what was going on, but all she knew was that she wanted to be with Nate Archibald. But, does she still want that now? Ronnie wasn't so sure anymore. She decided that she had time for one more letter before she had to get going to the Palace to meet Serena and Blair. This time she picked one from three weeks before she gave birth.

Dear, Nate.

I haven't wrote to you in two weeks. I've been kind of busy. The piles of letters I have is getting a little out of hand now, I have loads. I don't know how many more there is to come either. I'm about three weeks to my due date. It's February 24th today. I'm due on March 16th.