Nikolina Oneshot (bsog fanfic)

part three

Linas pov

    When I woke up, I as lying in a bed with a bandage on my forehead.  I looked to my side and Nikolai was sitting in a chair by my bed. He heard me shift and shifted his gaze towards me. "Was it a dream?" I said weakly.

    He looked at me sadly and said,"No, he's really dead." I looked down at the sheets on the bed and started sobbing. I should have stayed with Andrius. I thought. I am a terrible human being. He killed himself because of me. I still loved him. I can never forgive myself. "I'm really sorry. I should have just kept my feelings to myself and you and Andrius would still be together. I'm the real reason he's dead. I don't ever want you to think this is your fault," Nikolai firmly stated.

    "But it is my fault! He killed himself because of me, not you! I should have stayed with him, you're right. Now I'm going to live my life in grief because I practically killed the love of my life. Just leave me alone for a while, Nikolai!" I screamed. He gave my a shocked stare then stood up, and left the room. I felt years streaming down my face.  I started to sob into my pillow. I miss Andrius so much. I miss his beautiful smile. I miss hugging and kissing him. I miss everything about him. I should have never left him. I made a huge mistake. I wish I could go back in time to fix this. I hate myself. I wish I could die, but I have too many things I need to take care of. I was pulled out of my thought when Jonas walked into the room. He ran up to me and gave me a hug.

    "I wanted to tell you that Nikolai worked out something with Komarov and we are allowed to bury Andrius in his own grave site. We are burying him in two hours. Do you want to come?" Jonas asked. I nodded and then he left. I decided to have Andrius be buried with his favorite drawings of mine. I also decided to put the letters that I wrote to him in Siberia in there, too. Nikolai snuck me in clothes while I was sleeping, so I changed into them and combed my fingers through my hair. Jonas came to get me and lead me to where Andrius would me buried. I saw a poorly made coffin and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

    "We cleaned him up and changed him before he gets buried. We also though that you would want to see him one last time," Nikolai said. I nodded my head, and Nikolai took the top off of the coffin and let me see Andrius one more time. He looked so handsome. The slash on his neck was stitched up.  He was wearing a clean white shirt with a collar and beige pants. his hair was clean and combed, and there was no blood on him. I kneeled down next to him and placed in the letters and drawings. I kissed his cheek and held his hand one last time and stood up. Nikolai placed the lid back on the coffin. A few men lifted the coffin into the ground and then they started to shovel dirt into the hole. I went up to Nikolai and started crying into his chest. He put his arms around me and hugged me. I looked up at him and he kissed me.

    "Lets go back to my room and let you get some rest." He said. I nodded my head and we held hands while walking back to Nikolai' s room.