"It's Nothing..." I say.
Over and over the words play
Tricking my mind into that belief
To bring me closer to relief.
Making those words as big as I can
To block the anxiety always being the plan
To stop the visions playing in my head
To distract the voices that want me dead
A lie I hope my mind can conceive
The same mind that makes me believe
All these thoughts I can't control
When all I want is to feel whole...
How different my life would be
If I wasn't scared to live it freely
Overthinking leading to my demise
Afraid to look anyone in the eyes...
It just never wants to leave
When I just want to be granted reprieve
Waking from sleep in the dead of night
My eyes are watering, my chest is tight
I just don't understand why...
Feeling like my time is nigh
I don't want to be afraid to fly
When everything inside feels awry
"It's nothing..." I say again
Hoping those words won't end in vain
Those same two words I tell myself
I also say to everyone else.
How vicious can this cycle be?
Like a spider and the web it weaves
Not just something we can wish away
Something we just take day by day
I just want it to end...
So my mind can finally mend
I don't want to live in fear anymore
This anxiety beating me to my core
So when does it end?
As soon as my mind can comprehend
Every fear that lives inside
Does not need to be magnified
When will that day come?
Hopefully before I feel completely numb
Holding out hope for something...
Has to be better than saying "It's nothing..."
