Gabriel vs Ronald McDonald

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There once was a man by the name of Gabriel Rodriguez. He was a simple man; a basic bitch, one might say. He had a family of four -three iceberg lettuce children and one romaine dog- who supported him through all of his trials and tribulations. Sadly, on April 20th, 2022, they were slaughtered. The day started normally when Gabriel went to his job at the McDonalds, but when he returned, a scene of horror was left before his very eyes. Blikkies were popped. Nuts were busted. His whole family was dead. Caesar salad dressing was everywhere, soaking the room in its garlicky stench. Gabriel’s life was never the same after that day.

   A few months had passed since the incident , Gabriel still mourned the death of his only true family.  Gabriel got up and left for work, as he was working he couldn’t help but ponder upon the thought of who would murder his beautiful family, he was snapped back into reality when he saw his boss Ronald walk up to him “Gabriel, you’ve been slacking off lately, there will be punishments for that” Ronald said in a haunting tone with a familiar glare. 

   It was the same glare he saw through the ski mask that the murderer was wearing as he began to flee the scene. Gabriel began to shake in fear, Ronald noticing this smiled and asked “is something bothering you, Gabriel”. Gabriel just froze, he could not make a sound, the man that could’ve been behind the murder was standing right in front of him all along. Gabriel was launched into a violent fit of rage. His lust for vengeance compelling him to do the unthinkable. After years of being too squeamish to watch barbie dolphin magic (he thought it was a horror movie), let alone hurting someone, Gabriel was about to kill a man. His eyes darted around, searching for the dullest knife in the kitchen -if he was going to kill this man, he would make it hurt- and grabbed it. Blade in hand, Gabriel charged at Ronald, screaming the whole way. When he finally reached him, he stabbed Ronald McDonald in his goddamn esophagus  and didn’t stop until the cops came in.

   Ronald was bleeding, he put his hand on his chest and began to laugh maniacally “poor, dumb, clueless Gabriel, did you really think you could stop me this easily” Ronald said