These Stories Are Reasonable

Bridge (OneShot)

{T/W}: Mentions of suicide, depressing thoughts, struggle, idk

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Life was hard. In middle school. In high school.

Byuksan.

Eunjang.

It was all the same. One long, horrible rerun of a story Gray was certain he'd already watched play out once before. 

Stephen Ahn.

Eugene Gale.

Donald Na.

It was all the same. One long, horrible freak accident that was a once in a life time horror. It was unusual, and unbelievable, and rare, what were the odds that something like this would ever happen again. Gray deduced, that as long as he were around, then such numbers were far too high.

So here he was today, legs dangling off the side railing of a seldom used bridge, no hum of cars to bear witness, no chatter of onlookers to stop him. This area of town was well-renown for being dimly-lit and less-than posh. A shitty, unoccupied neighborhood, quite the walk from his own, nice, clean one. 

Gray imagined the slosh of water below, conflicted, dark, swirling and twirling. It'd be cold probably, as it tugged at his layers of clothes, infiltrating them and sucking him further down into the depths. It'd drench his black hoodie and jeans, "Couldn't weigh more than 110 pounds soaking wet." He recalled those words, meaningless at the time, now however, he dwelled on them. Gray wasn't very strong anyway, not in swimming nor life.

The lack of light made him think of Eugene, and the project that had caused a great deal of Gray's dislike for himself. He was a magnet for trouble. 

When he was weak, others got hurt.

When he was strong, others got hurt.

When he was, others got hurt.

At least this way, nobody else could get hurt thanks to him, no one else could die because of him. 

Gray sighed again, forcing himself to refrain from trembling, that would be pathetic. The breathing that had, at once, racked his ribs, now fell easy, steady, normal? Nearly. Gray doubted that he'd ever been "normal" always something with him. His fingers gripped the concrete siding, beneath his palms it was cold, just like the frigid air that nipped at his skin. 

In another life, he could pretend that this was just another near-winter night, that he was walking home from school, that he planned to see his friends tomorrow for another Saturday hangout. Unfortunately, this wasn't another life, this was just the one he had, the unfortunate hand of cards he'd been delt.

"You thinking about jumping off?" Came a voice, half-uninterested half tired, Gray recognized it immediately, though hardly reacted. A moment's silence passed between the pair before Wolf sat down next to the smaller, "Yeah me too," He sighed, opening a new packet of cigarettes.

Gray didn't pay him any mind despite the fact that now, they were shoulder to shoulder. The other's hand extended to him, offering a cigarette from the box, "I don't smoke," Gray replied, for once, not embarrassed about that. Right now, he didn't care enough to be ashamed of his lack of teenage qualities.

"Yeah," Wolf sighed, flipping out his lighter with a slight click, "Didn't think so," Against the dark background, he looked nice, clothed in Ganghak's iconic red, though instead of his school blazer, he wore a hoodie, the same red, crumpled from his slouching. His eyes looked how Gray imagined his own did, maybe him and Wolf did share a purpose here. "So what's up with Eunjang's pretty princess?" The smell of Wolf's cigarette smoke assaulted Gray's senses, though he resisted the urge to scrunch his nose.