Best Regards To The Sun

i live in a world where feminism means misandry, and femininity means benefit.
a world where a woman fighting for her humanity is nothing but ringing in a man's ears.
a woman who speaks her mind is exasperating, a man who speaks his mind is a leader.
where it's not "bad men" only "bad people", and "bad women" just "bad women".
i live in a world where a woman's hard work makes her masculine, while a man's hard work makes him diligent.
where a man's vulnerability is secret, and a woman's vulnerability is sexy.
in this world, "modesty" means religion and "self respect" means preservation.
where even in death a woman cannot rest.
where an abundance of cloth on my body means i'm "less likely", and a lack thereof means i'm "begging for it".
where my own consent can be determined by men with no sympathy on wooden chairs with no remorse.
a world where i am reprimanded for watching the sun undress in the fog in a field each morning, i'm careless and it's dangerous.
where a rich man must be an entrepreneur and a rich woman must be his wife.
where maternal instinct is bare minimum and paternal instinct is a miracle.
a man's incompetence makes him misunderstood while a woman's misunderstanding makes her incompetent.
i live every waking morning in this world, as a woman.

...

so, my formal letter to the sun.
i know you.
do you remember me?
those early october mornings i came to you.
seated, in a field, i embraced your sacredness.
i admired it.
i still do.
your endless love.
your forgiveness.
you too wake up every morning to this world.
a world where there's nothing you can do but continue to shine.
a world you're not proud of, and yet here you still provide.
you give back to a world with nothing to give to you.
you are morning and you submit your beaming smile to an empty handed, shell of the earth.
sometimes you cry.
and the whole world feels it.
they use your tears to water their flowers, and they'll use your smile too.
sometimes, you cower behind the clouds, sheepish and timid.
and only without you, and your benefit, do they miss your attendance.
but i will be patient.
i will be kind.
i will soak up your tears when you cry, and i will relish in your smile once you're done.
i will reciprocate your loyalty.
i will be vulnerable to you, too.

i will.
in another world.
one where i may have your blessing.
one where your smile can protect me.
just not this one.