13 reasons why

Tape 5 - Typhoon

"Now that I've begun this recording I'm beginning to realise that you where never one of the thirteen who fucked me over in life. For you it was the other way around I was the one who fucked you over. Welcome to your tape Typhoon Sea. This story begins right after the events of the last tape and Riptide's Heart-breaking rejection.  I had finally received permission to go to one of Sunny's end of year parties and we had planned to meet up but when I joined you on one of the cushions in the room you had claimed for us you began to speak 'Hey Moonclaws I have something to confess' just hearing this was enough to send me into a full-scale panic attack. I could see the panic on your face and through the haze I heard Glory, Kinkajou and Jambu come bursting into the room with out a hesitant second. Jou led you out of the room but not before I realized that the cause of your horror was me simply causing me to plunge deeper into the panic attack I was already in. 

As I began to calm down Jou brought both Glory's friends and the rest of our group into the room so that our being alone wouldn't cause me to fall into another panic attack. Later I realized that my newfound irrational fear of love had ruined what would have been one of the most beautiful moments in your life. I hated myself for so long due to this event. over the night as the games began and continued later on through the night you began and continued to get closer tome with your game requests including seven minutes in heaven and spin the bottle. As your requests  began to be noticed and taken in you would make it the point of your time to kiss me full on whenever you can. As you got closer and closer I began to notice just what I had missed out on because I was only now beginning to notice just how funny and kind you where as well as how beautiful you were." 

Typhoon was blushing hard she'd completely forgotten about this night probably because of how much it hurt her.  Then she realized that her dead crush had just admitted his feelings for her only months after his death. As she realized this tears began to roll down her face because she only know knew that Moonclaws had felt so bad about life that he'd believed no one could help him through it.

"But by the time I realised and had gained the courage to ask you out the party had ended. by the time I next saw you I had lost all of the courage I had worked so hard to gather had dissipated back into nothingness alongside the happiness that life had gifted me through that party.  However seeing you once more had brought back some of the happiness that I had lost in everyday life. Just enough to survive a few more weeks without seeing you but barely enough to deal with Fierceteeth's Bullshit for a whole other month. As time went on I began to believe that you had completely forgotten about the events of that night and so began to filter myself back into your life. It was not long before I noticed that your memories of that night were gone but the love you felt for me was not. Your eyes had once more betrayed your feelings. Outside of this there was the possibility that at any moment you would pop out of nowhere to defend me from the school's criminals as they tried  to spoil my day. Somehow you knew when the constant bullying would begin once more. I will be completely honest that I cannot remember a day where the bullying  had begun and you hadn't stepped in to defend me. 

To my knowledge by the time you receive this tape you still wont know the reason I was bullied for the entirety of my short life. Well here it is I'm Agender-Pansexual. Those who considered themselves to be more than a simple being trying to make their way through life where so homophobic... So transphobic that they pushed me until I fell. A few months after the dilemma at Sunny's party I was jumped by Fierceteeth's gang and out of nowhere you came to my defence after the gang members had fled you helped me up and we began the long walk to the nurse's office" 

Typhoon could remember this incident Moonclaws had been late for Homeroom and She'd been sent to locate him. She remembered the horror of finding Fierceteeth and her friends standing over Moonclaws' motionless body laughing as they sent kick after kick in his... no their direction. She'd chased them off then helped her crush to their feet before beginning to help them make their way to the Nurses office. She also remembered what had happened not five minutes later.

"It was at this time that I realised that one of my favourite quotes perfectly fit our relationship 'It was never meant to be'. although the  quote fitted I realized that somewhere out in the cosmos a god or goddess had made our fates align so we would eventually be together. Halfway to the nurse's office I made this revelation and in the state of shock it had created I shoved you away and told you that I could make it to the Nurse's office perfectly fine by myself. I watched as you left making sure that you wouldn't be able to stop me from what I had set my mind too. by the time you had arrived back in class I had made it to the roof and was staring wistfully into the distance. Slowly removing my shoes I prepared myself and removed the letter that I had written and signed that morning, slipped it into my boots before leaning back against the fence. The feeling of air rushing past your ears as you fall to your death is one that cannot be simulated even in the most advanced of technologies as that sort of peace is just a feeling of fulfilment."

Tears began to slide down Typhoon's face because of the words Moonclaws had just uttered and the revelation that he'd truly believed that death was that level of beautiful as to the point where he could easily compare falling to your death with peace and fulfilment.

"You were looking out the classroom window as I plummeted past it and your scream shocked even me into a state of panic as the whole school came running out of classrooms, calling 000 even as they ran. That one second where you looked out the window is what saved my life that day. Man, Fierceteeth sure got hell for her role in that incident. Even as I woke in my hospital bed with all my family members by my side including my father, Step Mum and half-siblings I couldn't help but notice that you of all people had been given the chair next to my bed. Everyone but you eventually left and we got to talking. The nights passed and all we did was talk about life and favourite shows and songs. It may have gotten to the point where we were 100% mutually dating. I love you  Typhoon Sea.  Queen of my heart." 

As the tape shut off Typhoon let Moonclaws' final words to her sink in. They had been mutually dating and Moonclaws had believed that she'd known. know she could almost let their soul rest as she had almost discovered the thirteen reasons Moonclaws had died but the wishes of her soul where finally complete.