petes pov
im sitting in my bitchass room jacking off to fedora wizaerd.
"ayy bitch!!!!!¡" my stoopid uncle yell at me from the other side of door. "you mad dumb smh. btw we heading out tomight bye"
my tongue comes out of my mouth and opens the door only to slam it in his face. my tongue is skilled. ;) jk thats only for fedora wizard you thirsty lil fucks.
speaking of who a flying dildo smacks against my window and i see patrick riding it. i figured he was good at riding dicks. ;)))
"fedora wizard!" i yell
"emu king wizard!" he yells and we do the welcome buttsexks on the floationg dildo. he than flys us to his house. on the dildo. yeah
"BANDJEI WMDOSGWBEKDJ!!!???
?!!!" his mom yell at us when we walk into his dump of a house. it may be a dump but its kinky so i forgive him
"shut the fuck up mom." he says. my eyes pop out of my head cuz if i said that to my aunt i woud get slapped around the world and land in my grave.
fedora wizard leads me upstairs and i see his lil sister like yelyah or something.
"hayley has a crush on you" patrick tells me.
"im gonna fite her"
"y"
"idk"
"cool"
we go in his room and the waslls are covered with band posters but like good bands. i new i liked him for a reason. we do te buttsexks cuz what else would we do.?
the next day we get schiol supolies for hogwarsts. the list is:
1. one skin tight black suit (two if you are mad kinky like that ;) )
2. mulitiple packs of condoms
3. geez idk copybooks? ¿¿
4. riding magical dicks for beginers
5. how to eat your girl out properly if shes a muggle
6. is that wand stable enough for me to pole dance on? the series
7. pens/penils
8. the basic income and life of magic strippers
9. all students are allowed but not requires to have toys - and not toys like legos ;))
"wow prof. gabar is sure teaching us a lot this year!!" fedora wizard sais.
"yeh cant wait to do our homework to gether fedora wizard!!" i sai. we find our friends afro wiazard and and #vegan #xvx #crossfit #straightedge wizard.
#vegan #xvx #crossfit #straightedge wizard has a beasd now. i likw it. i bet joe does too if yu no what i mean
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
#vegan #xvx #crossfit #straightedge wizard's tiger fell form th ski crishing joe while they were habimg the buttsefks
the toger looked up at fedora wozaerd and me and said "thanks pete". fedor wizarf got mad at this for some fickin reason amd started cruing like a lil bitcj.
"what the fuck was that?" i ask.
"i think it was an emu." afro wizard said.
"i thought an emu was anime???" patrick ask.
we wmet back to shoppig.
~
fedoar wizard (patrick) pov
wowie wow wow school sire is great. juST DUCKING KIDDING I GOT SORTED INTO HUFFLEPUFFLE LAST YEAR AND MY friNDS ARE IN GRIFFONDORE AND WOW I AM ALONE I HAVE NO ONE TO DO THE BUTTSEXKS WOTH!!! DO YOU SEE MY PROBLEM ¿¡¿¡ of fourws uou do it is massive ((loke my dick ;) jk thats only for emu king wizard))
even my butch ass sister got to be im griffondor with pete, andy, and joe. i just got some lil shit named max who is obsessed woth peye and wont stop asking about him.
i sigh until dinner is over and as soon as it is i hit max in the face with a plate and run away
Peteds pov
dat creepy janitor guy is stull working at hogswaryus which for some dicking reason
fedora wyzarrd iz sooo hot but hes not in my house that's really fuckinh bad cuz I want the buttssexls cuz #crossfit #vegan #xvx #straightedge wyzarrd is doin gay porn with Afro wyzza now I'm hORNY
im just listening to gossip and apparently Ryden broke up I'm fuckinh sad but now Brendon's in a polygamy relashionsphip with Sarah Orzechowski and headmasta gabar
a few weeks into classes we find out that "oh shit someone been killing peoples penguin" and theres blood all over the school and every1 thins its me shit.
gabar is PISSED cuz she got some weird fetish for penuguns ??? and that creepy bitch maid janitor bitch did you know what he did to garbar ??? the HOEEE made her listen to one DIRertion and ate her chipotle infring of her then banish her to the fiery hell of unpaid strippers
but gabar is back from hell and kids are paralyzed like that max bitch whos annoying as shit anD WHATS THIS FUCKING #vegan #xvx #crossfit #straightedge wizard HAS BEEN PARAYLYZED ?????? WHOS GONNA DO TE BUTT SECKS WITH AFRO WIZARD BOW ???? oh ueah also yelyah or whatever got kidnaooed.
afro wizard has not left #vegan #xvx #crossfit #straightedge wizard's side and now me and fedora wizard have o go save fedora wizerss sister. but...NOT BEFORE WE HAGE THE BIRTTSEFKS THAT LIL SHIT CAN WAIR SHE GOT HERSELF KIDNAPPED. HAHAHAH
we go to the gurls bathroom for preparing for buttsefks (??? why is yhe secret lair in there ???) since i soeak te language of penugugs i enable us in the lair.
me and fedora wizard have deh butsexks again and then a wall fo rocks falls between us
"PATRCIK WHO AN I HONA DO THE BUTTSEFKS WITH NOWWW ???" i secrem to him.
"SAVE HAYLEY AND TEN WE CAN DO YHE BITTSEKS, OKAY?" he yells back.
"OKAY!" heh this is like that movie. 'mayhaps "okay" will be out always'. lol. i hated that movie.
anywho i continue on until i am met worh a hot tenage guy.
"who the fuck r u?" i ask
"i am frank edwin wright III and that unscrambled is SIR VOLDITRE!! HAHA."
"yeah sure whatver you say fam"
hes laugiig again but nothings really funny. then a GIANT OCTOPUS ?? comes out from behinf him wnd attacks me. i sxream and run away
this is not kinky
i am about die when a flightless bird called a penguin flies in and drips the sortif hat on my head. i pulk a sword out. it and start stabbing the hat because it put me and my buttseks baby in different huoses.
it scraems and then i stabb the octopis and stab a journal. sir volditre disapears while aobbing (cuz hes a bitch) and i save yelyah. the penhuin comes bafk and saves us and we aave patrick on the way baxk.
sadly we unparalysed max but happily WE SAVE #vegan #xvx #crossfit #straightedge wizard AND WE CELEBRTED BY HAVIG THE BUTTSECKS
i mean not me and him but me and fedora wizard and afro wizard with #vegan #xvx #crossfit #straightedge wizard.
well this schoo year was wasted. anyeay gabar is sending me back to mu abusuive home ??? like what ??? do you knOW ANYTHING YOU UNDEUCTAIONED GOOSE PENIS WOW FUCK YOU GO BACK TO LIVING OUT 50 SHADES OF GREY WITH BRENDON AND SARAH YOU frREAK LIKE WHAT FITE ME
and thats how this year went. i cant wait to almost die next year too
YOU ARE READING
Harry Potter//fob,p!atd,mcr,green day+
Random((yeah i didnt make the title picture so credit to whoever made it - which was not me)) this is a crack fic with harry potter, fall out boy, green day, panic! at the disco, and my chemical romance; other band members may appear tho idk
