It's the eyes, it has always been the eyes. Every death I have investigated so far in my years of being a detective, it has always been the eyes that throw me off. It's so weird to me that one moment you can see, breathe, smell taste, feel; then everything you have turns to nothing. It's so weird that after doing this job almost everyday for 5 whole years I still haven't gotten over the idea of death. It's like the person isn't really there, it's not them stiff, cold, dead - sometimes even in their own home. It's like some doll, cold and lifeless is just wearing their face, and the 'real' version it out their doing their normal things.
Nothing else about the scenes I visit really bothers me, no matter how gruesome the wounds, or the other things we come across; Notes, Murder-suicides, rotting houses, Blood, Vomit, Mass-Murders.
It's all become a new kind of normal to me. I've learn a lot over the years as a murder detective, like the fact that anything wet or damp, in a packaged plastic provides an area for bacteria to grow that easily destroys DNA evidence, or maybe that potassium hydroxide can dissolve a human body into nothingness within just 3 hours.
Or even the smaller things such as the fact that leaving your weapons behind doesn't make you seem more innocent at all, if anything it actually makes finding you a whole lot easier than you would have thought. Or maybe the fact that even though less than 15% of serial killers are women, female killers actually tend use more effective and less messy techniques than men killers.
I think that I've seen almost pretty much every kind of murder; drownings, suffocations, burning, stabbing, shootings, murder-suicides. And out of every single one of those, nothing stood out to me more than the eyes. They are the only part of them or maybe everyone, apart from the murderer, that knows and witnessed everything that happened, which may never be discovered and its all locked inside them, forever repeating. again, again, and again.
