Batjokes oneshots (Batman x Joker)

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Bruce sped down the highways, rushing himself towards the abandoned fire station within the batmobile, suit equipped and ready. Alfred was currently filling him in the details over the radio, and every word sounded like a bullet to the chest.

"The GCPD have found eleven casualties so far, sir. Gordan is at the head of the search, but he is waiting for your commands" 

"Tell him and his men to fall back. Joker will listen to me" Batman said confidently, though right now he wasn't so sure.

"If....you say so, sir" Alfred said hesitantly, unsure but following Batman's command.

Pulling up to the scene, only Gordon remained, leaned against the police car he occupied. The rich man climbed out of the batmobile, approaching Gordon. "Bruce, are you sure you know what you are doing? I know your relationship with him but, he's unstable right now"

"Trust me, Jim. If there is anyone he will listen to, it's me" Bruce confirmed, reaching up to the button behind his cowl. With a small click of a button and a sigh of resignment, he removed the mask. "Alright, but I will be out here if you need me. I'm not leaving" The commissioner stated, stepping back into the flashing car.

Bruce sighed, stepping into the fire station slowly. Blood covered the floor, bodies scattered and already shot bullets laid over the tiles. A bad feeling within his stomach, he walked up the stairs. There, he was met with an oddly quiet Joker, sat in front of what Bat's was assuming was his latest victim.

"J? What happened?" Batman asked his lover, stepping forward slowly. Right now, Joker was unpredictable and he needed to be cautious. Joker didn't respond, and Bruce grew even more worried. He'd never seen the man so quiet.

"It's...okay to have relapses, Joker" Batman settled on, unsure of what to say as he hesitantly sat next to the insane man. "Just come home, and we can...forget this" It wouldn't truly be forgotten, they both knew. It always caused a slight ripple between them every time Joker 'relapsed', so to speak.

"Why?" Joker mumbled under his breath, so quiet that Bruce almost missed it. "What do you mean?" He responded. The clown only laughed to himself, his signature grin returning to his face. "Why should I go back? This is me, dear Batsy. The deranged clown prince of Gotham. You knew that from the beginning, why should I change? To keep you happy?"

"You've been showing real progress, J. When was the last time you did this, six months ago? That's your longest yet" Bruce said sympathetically. Joker turned to look at his lover, grin wider and more deranged than the last. Batman had to squint in order to notice the small tear streaks around the others eyes. "The most boring six months of my life, Brucey. Why give it up when the whole city missed my jokes? I think I'll stay here, where I'm much more appreciated" he spat, venom between his words.

"You don't mean that, J-" "And what would you know!?" He snapped, standing and much more irate than moments ago. "You're hardly around anymore, when was the last time we did something together?! The last time you asked me if I was doing okay!?" And Bruce could hear the anger within his voice.

"You know why, Joker. Penguin has been causing riots all over the city. I had to protect Gotham" Batman said as he stood, wary of his lovers movements. "It's only been a week, J"

"And what else do I have to do for fun? If you aren't around, I need to do something!" Joker yelled, chest heaving with rage.

Bruce stayed quiet for a moment. "How about I get Nightwing to stop Penguin? We can have a week to ourselves, just us. I'll take you on the best dates, and we can do whatever you want. Whatever you need to feel better. Just, please, come home" Batman held out a hand, hoping that the Joker would take it.

Joker looked down at his lovers hand, gears turning in that pretty little head of his. A genuine smile etched its way onto his face, gently taking the others hand into his own. "Well, Batsy, you sure do know how to give a girl a good time"

Pulling eachother closer, Bruce left a gentle kiss against the others temple. "Home?" He asked, and the clown laughed to himself. "Home"