Would you love a Monsterman? (Avdol x Polnareff)

Shut up and drive!

Day came and went, and the two undead men slept through it, safe in an empty house. The house had been brought for "investment", as had the rest of the buildings on the street. Because of this it was empty and unused, spiders spinning webs in the corners and dust gathering on the marble countertops. A cleaner came by to tidy it up every Saturday, yet the building was currently empty. As Polnareff slumbered in the laundry room (the only room without windows to let in the deadly, dreaded sunlight) he thought back to the old days in France. The king had many places, most of which he didn't even spend time in, he just owned to show that he could- whilst thousands of peasants starved. The vampire had been in the revolution, just as he had been in La Resistance in the 1940s. It was strange how humans would go around killing and oppressing one another, and yet he was the monster just because he had no reflection and a "dietary requirement" that could be satisfied by a quick trip to a slaughterhouse. They were odd things, humans, and yet Polnareff was still incredibly fond of them. After all, old habits die hard.

The moon rose into the sky, and Polnareff shambled out of the laundry room. He'd been using an old towel as a blanket and some dryer sheets as a pillow, and thus his hair now smelt of "summery fresh scents, guaranteed to last for up to two weeks!" Avdol rolled out from under the sofa, and smiled up at Polnareff.
"What's the plan for today?" He asked. Polnareff grinned, stretched, and leaned against the countertop. With his nearly monochrome pigmentation, he resembled a character from an old black and white movie.
"We need to get to Windknight's Lot. I'd consider posting us again, but it's such a small town that everyone really knows everyone. A mysterious package with no address showing up at the Joestar residence would make people talk. Talk turns to rumours, and rumours turn into angry mobs with torches, pitchforks and plenty of garlic." The vampire sighed. When he was posted to Cairo he simply got Joseph to drive him down to Portland, then posted himself from there. However, they'd need a different approach, and if the package was lost, it could spell disaster.
"How about we get a train?" Avdol asked.
"Too expensive, too many stops, too many chances that a human could get suspicious. And we'd need to find a new place to sleep every night!" Polnareff said, pulling a bottle of blood that he swiped from a butcher's shop from the huge fridge, where he'd stashed it last night.
"Perhaps we could drive then?"
Polnareff paused, blood bottle halfway to his mouth.
"Avdol... that's genius! We could sleep in the boot of the car, and we wouldn't need to worry about a train being delayed! I'm sure that we can find a cheap car somewhere around here..."

Polnareff drew up a quick map of stops to make along their way to Windknight's Lot.
"Los Angeles- Fresno- Red Bluff- Salem- Portland- Windknight's Lot. Darkness lasts for about nine hours, which should give us plenty of time to get to place to place and find a nice dark place to hide. It'll also give us time to sample the local... delicacies..." Polnareff said with a wicked grin.
"Don't you dare feed off the locals!" Avdol scolded.
"As if I'd do such a thing! I meant trying local foods, like Voodoo Doughnut! And the local abattoirs of course, so I don't get the munchies." The two men were walking through the streets of L.A to a late-night secondhand car dealership, which Polnareff had found on Google. The reviews all said it was "very good and trustworthy!", but they were all written by the same man, so he took it with a pinch of salt. They arrived at the showroom and the salesman walked out to greet them, dressed in a cheap polyester suit with a hideously patterned tie.
"Welcome, welcome! I'm Mikey, and you're probably here to find a car, right?" The salesman asked, grinning to reveal his cosmetic dentistry.
"Have you got anything for under $1000?" Polnareff asked.
"Sure thing, buddy!" Mikey replied, leading them to a beaten-up and rusty car. "Car" was in fact, a generous word- this thing resembled a bucket on wheels.
"This baby is just $250! Sure, there's no windows or seatbelts or turn signal, but she can still go forward!"
"Um.... something with windows, please?" Polnareff asked. Mikey rolled his eyes, and led the two men to the next car.

Several cars later, and nothing was suited to the job. Nearly all the cars were in horrendous condition, yet as he turned his head, Polnareff saw a perfect vehicle. It was only about 4 years old, and was clean as a whistle.
"How much is that one?" He asked. Mikey visibly cringed, and looked over to Polnareff.
"A... are you sure?"
"Yeah. How much?"
"It's $150. But..."
"Does it work well?"
"It works perfectly well, but..."
"Then we'll take it." Polnareff said, handing Mikey three fifty dollar bills. He handed over the keys, and the two undead men got into the car and drove off.

As they drove through downtown L.A and towards the interstate, Avdol noticed all the other drivers honking their horns at them. Several people on the pavement stared as they went by, and he turned to Polnareff with a worried look.
"I think something's wrong with the car, everyone keeps honking at us." He said. Polnareff pulled over to the side of the road, paid for half an hour's parking, and got out of the car. He walked around it, giving it a thorough inspection, before letting out an angry yell.
"Mikey, you slimeball!"
"What's wrong?" Avdol asked, walking over to the back of the car where Polnareff was standing. There was a little detail there which had gone unnoticed, since the two of them had been so keen to get away.
That little detail was a bumper sticker that read "HONK IF YOU'RE H🩷RNY!"