Classroom of the Elite: Alter - Solace

Vol. 7: Chapter 2.2 - A Hundred Percent is Not Enough

Note: You might want to reread "Vol. 6: Chapter 3.1 - Inching Closer" for better context.

Sitting on my bed, the girl named Kushida Kikyou did not wear her mask. The two of us faced each other, similar to how we did that night. Her true self sat in front of me with piercing eyes that saw nothing but the malice of humanity.

"Ryuuen-kun knows about my past," she said.

Her smile was nonexistent, and her eyes were filled with darkness. However, her allure didn't wane at all. It was the opposite of the angelic girl that everyone dreams of befriending. 

"I see... Saying that that's troubling for you would be a big understatement," I replied.

The cold and detached Kikyou was something that only Horikita and I have ever had the luxury of interacting with. But-- well, it was arguable whether a normal person would consider it a luxury. 

"That's right. Depending on what he knows, my life in this school could very much come to an end."

This Kikyou drew me in. Was it the mystery? Was it the contrast? It might be a combination of both. Right now, it's something that I've only personally felt and observed. Horikita's indifference to Kikyou wasn't a good basis for me to reflect upon, so my impressions would probably stay that way for a long while.

"Did you gather enough information? I thought you were trying to find out what Ryuuen was planning," I asked, prepared for what was to come.

"Stop it, Kiyotaka-kun! I get it already!" she snapped. 

Kikyou's hands visibly trembled.

"There's no way I can accomplish something like that on my own! I admit it! I was trying to test you! I wanted to see if you'll readily offer your help to me..." She looked like she didn't want to continue talking, but she had no choice. "I wanted to see if I... was important to you..."

I remember the conversation we had. It might've been out of desperation, but it wasn't the right move. Even Kikyou realized that.

"If I was important to you, then I could've manipulated you. I could've used you..." Her hoarse voice laid her frustration bare. "I wanted to control you... but I was stupid for even trying to have that line of thought..."

"You finally said it."

"What...?"

"That's what you wanted, Kikyou-- control," I said.

She bit her lips in aggravation before nodding in agreement.

"Maybe you're right... but I already knew that it was futile. I don't know why I..."

I crossed my arms and sighed, prompting Kikyou to look at me.

"It's simple," I said. "It's because you never trusted me."

If she did, losing control wouldn't have been an issue.

"I never... trusted you...?" 

Kikyou looked understandably confused. We've been working together for the past year under many labels-- friends, classmates, best friends, allies-- you name it. The amount of trust that she'd shown in my abilities was similar to that of Horikita's. And because of that, the two were also similar in another aspect...

They didn't trust me as a person.

"Maybe you think you did, but it's not that easy, especially for someone like you. For the longest time in your life, you never trusted anyone. I was probably the only person who was close to gaining at least some of your trust."