The Idea of Me

Promises

Curl. Wait. Release. Curl. Wait. Release. The last curl falls into place as I put down my curling iron. My hair is hot on my shoulders. I study it in the mirror and frown. It could be better.

"Hurry up Michaela!" calls my mom from downstairs. I look at the clock. School starts in half an hour.

"OK!" I yell back. After leaving the bathroom, I go hurriedly through my clothes and grab a bra, a pink tank top, a black skirt, and a grey knitted sweater. I finish changing and head downstairs. My mother is waiting in the kitchen with breakfast. She frowns when she sees what I am wearing, but does not say anything.

"Just eggs for breakfast today, nothing too special," she says. I take a seat at the table.

"Thank you" I say, as I pick up a spatula and dish some eggs and sausages onto my plate. My brother is sitting to my right, and my sister to my left. My parents are across from me.

"Nice hair," my dad says to me, forcing a smile. I smile back but don't say anything. I know he doesn't mean it.

"Alexander, honey," my mom says to my brother, "do you have everything you need for football practice tonight?" He looks up from his meal.

"Yeah mom," he says. He sounds tired, even though he's always sleeping. My father goes upstairs to change into a suit. Mom looks at my sister, Elizabeth.

"What about you darling," she asks, "Do you have everything you need for ballet?" Liza smiles and looks up from her breakfast.

"Yes, mum" she says sweetly. I look over at her. She is wearing a pink knee length dress with black three inch heeled boots and a flowered necklace. She sees me looking but pretends not to notice. She always acts like I don't exist. I turn back to my meal and look sideways at Alex. He has a blue football jersey on, as usual, with a pair of old torn up jeans and black running shoes. He smiles at me, a good, genuine smile.

"Morning" he says. I smile back.

"Good morning," I reply. As we finish our breakfast my mom washes the dishes. My father returns from upstairs wearing his suit and carrying a briefcase. Mom dries her hands on a nearby towel and takes a paper bag out of the fridge.

"Your lunch, dear" she says as she hands it to him. He smiles and thanks her. They kiss, then he walks out the door. I hear the sound of one of the cars starting up and pulling out of the driveway. I eat the last of my eggs and bring my plate to the sink. I look at the clock. Ten minutes until school starts. My mom is waiting at the door for my siblings and I to finish getting ready. Liza is waiting with her, with a purse slung over her shoulder, and her books in her arms. I walk to the door and mom gives me my satchel. I slip on a pair of flats and wait at the door with them.

" Hurry up, Alexander!" mom calls, "we're going to be late!" After a couple of minutes Alex runs downstairs with his backpack on one shoulder. Mom opens the door for us, handing us our lunches as we exit. We get in the car and wait as she locks the door behind herself. She gets in the car and pulls out of the driveway, then starts driving towards the school. I count the number of yellow cars as we drive. 1...2...3...4. My mom pulls up in front of the school. We all exit the car and my siblings rush past me, eager to see their friends. I am not so eager. I walk slowly towards my first class, noticing the stares of the people I walk by. I knock when I reach the classroom. My teacher opens the door and greets me with a smile.

"Good morning Michaela," he says, "how are you?"

"Alright," I reply, throwing on a smile to be polite. I take a seat at the back corner of the class and wait for the bell to ring. Students slowly start to trickle into the classroom, their gazes slide over me before resting on their friends. Quiet chattering fills the room. The class is nearly full when the bell rings. Everyone stands for the national anthem. When it ends, everyone sits. My teacher writes today's lesson plan on the board in white chalk. He is wearing a blue shirt with a black tie and pants. He does the lesson, then lets us work quietly on an assignment. While we are working he hands back the tests that we had done on Friday. I look at mine. 85% is written at the top. I frown at the paper and move it to the side of my desk, then work on my assignment until the bell rings. I collect my papers and hand them in to the teacher. The halls are crowded as I make my way to my next class. I walk into the classroom quietly and take a seat. Slowly the other members of my group sit down around me. The bell rings and the teacher announces that we are working on the same project that we were on Friday. My group members look at me.