The Emperor [EDITING]

14

ADELINE

       I fear the night like I fear blood.

       Nights are cold, painful, terrifying. They've never been friends of mine like they're friends of Dawn, they've never liked me like they loved her.

       The night is when the demons and monsters come out to toy you to their will. It is when my monster comes out to play with me until I cannot take it anymore.

       I don't remember much from what happened last night. My memories disappear from the moment I got in Kaiser's car to this very one, with his heavy arm on my waist and his leg over mine keeping me from moving.

       His presence must be why the monster didn't wake up, why I was allowed a moment of rest. In all honesty, that was the most restful and peaceful night of my life. I don't feel the exhaustion usually taking over the second I wake up, I don't feel the coldness waving through me once the night is over, I don't feel the uneasiness that makes me want to crawl up to a corner and cry. None of it. As I lay there, watching him sleep, I cannot help but feel a sense of comfort and safety. It is strange, considering I had only just met him, but there's something about him that makes me feel at ease. Only when asleep, though.

       I am in new clothes, my tight jeans and long sleeved shirt are gone to be replaced by a pair of pajamas and a black long sleeved shirt. I don't remember changing my clothes. I freeze for a second, God. I really truly hope he didn't change my clothes. I really truly hope he didn't see me. I swallow hard and take a quick breath, maybe he didn't do it. Maybe someone else did it. Maybe I did it and just can't remember. I'm sure I did it. I wouldn't let anybody see me, Dawn did on accident and that was bad enough.

       He, on the contrary, is only wearing boxers. His skin is so cold, he should be freezing.

       I recall his room from when his brother assaulted me, I still have yellowish marks around my neck to remind me of that. There's the bishop and the king standing on the red chess board, the silk sheets, the black walls, the king size bed, the nightstand on my left and the one behind Kaiser — which I cannot see because his frame is not allowing me to see anything that isn't his naked torso. I have never been this close to a man in my life.

       My Mom always forbade it, she said men led to temptation, temptation led to sins, sins led to hell. And she couldn't lose me to the devil, so boys — even as a kid — have always been out of the question. I only started slowly befriending them when I got here for college, before they were just an idea. I didn't even know they had a penis until five years ago, when I was fifteen. I thought they had what I had, not that. However, this very moment I'm lying in bed so close to a man with a satan-like reputation, so close I can only smell his maddening odeur. Smoke. Leather. Rain.

       It takes me a few minutes to be fully awake, out of the sleepy haze and notice my hand squeezing his arm so hard I'm sure my nails are leaving a mark, I immediately take it off praying I didn't hurt him. Sin. He doesn't seem to be waking up though, his eyes are still closed, his breath still making my hair fly, his arm and leg still heavy on me, he's dead asleep. It gives me time to study his face, taking in every detail of his perfectly sculpted face. I can get a few minutes before the monster comes back lurking. His eyes are closed, his breathing slow and steady.

        He has extremely light freckles around his cheeks, barely visible with any light, much less than his brother's and mine but they're here. He has a strong and sharp jawline and a slight stubble on his chin. His hair is messy, as if he had been ruffling it in his sleep. His cuts from last night have started healing, still looking bloodied though. His mouth is fully closed; he only breathes through his nose —as he should. Kaiser has thick lashes, they sit on his cheeks while he sleeps, giving him such a peaceful and angelic appearance. Nothing compared to the truth behind this man. Sin. His beard is slowly growing, I noticed he doesn't systematically shave it, Azrel's face was smooth like butter—if we don't count his numerous scars—while Alexander does let his beard grow.