The Cook's Poison

"Yo, Usopp, look at me!"

As laughter rang out on the ship's deck, Sanji's eyes slid narrowly to the door. Here he was, slaving away in a hot kitchen, while they played outside, so carefree, no worries, no suspicions. It was so naïve, it made him want to laugh.

This was going to be too easy.

Sanji reached into his suit coat and pulled out a tiny glass vial. He made another fast glance to the door in a moment of hesitating panic. Convinced no one would burst in on him, as they tended to do, he uncorked the vial and poured the liquid contents into the stew he was making. He wrapped the tube in a handkerchief, set it on the ground, and stomped on it. The cloth muted the sound of breaking glass. Still, Sanji nervously looked to the door in case his thumping foot raised alarm. He heard Luffy's childish voice, Chopper's high laugh, and Usopp in the middle of another highly fictionalized tale.

"Idiots," he chuckled darkly. Sanji tossed the handkerchief with its glass contents into the trash to hide the evidence.

He carefully picked a few bottles from his spice rack and shook them into the stew to cover over any foul flavor. He needed to mask it enough to pass under Chopper's sensitive nose. He inhaled the steaming stew deeply.

"Too much basil, but these barbarians will never know the difference."

"Oi, Sanji!" Luffy hollered. "When's dinner?"

"Coming!" he sang musically.

Still, he sneered. This recipe would work for everyone else, but not for Brook. He specifically chose this day because Brook was on lookout and would remain up in the crow's nest through dinner. Hopefully he stayed up there no matter what he heard...or didn't hear.

Unconsciously, Sanji almost sipped a little broth to test the taste, but he stopped himself with his lips resting against the spoon. He laughed softly and lowered the ladle.

"Almost forgot. That would have ruined everything." He carefully spooned out bowls for everyone...except Zoro. He had something special for the marimo. Then Sanji double-checked all of his preparations. A devious smile curved onto his lips, tweaking his cigarette.

A moment later, Sanji twirled out of the kitchen and called out, "Monsieurs and Mademoiselles, dinner is..." Before he could finish, Luffy raced past him. "Oi! Careful, you rubber idiot."

The others filed in at a much more subdued pace. Sanji glanced up to make sure Brook really was in the crow's nest. His ears could have told him as much. A gentle violin melody wafted over the microphone.

"Brook," Sanji hollered loud enough for the skeleton to hear inside the observation deck. "How about a lively tune? A little dinner music will enhance the atmosphere."

"Yohoho!" came the jolly laugh over the loud speakers. "Good idea. Any requests?"

"Something loud enough for us to hear while we eat," he yelled, then turned to the galley with a menacing aura and muttered, "Just keep on playing."

Luckily, Brook could truly get swept away with his music, and so long as he was playing, Sanji would know where he was. The loud violin and boisterous singing would also deafen Brook to anything going on below. Sanji served out the bowls of stew, and Luffy dug in before the rest even got their bowls. However, when Sanji got to Zoro, he gave him a disgusted look and unceremoniously dropped a platter with a salad in front of him.

"The fuck is this, pervy-cook?" Zoro snapped.

"That is punishment for breaking my new glass bowl this morning, asshole."