Evening Star: Edward's Story

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Another Topic

Sorry about being late with uploading. Work is kicking my butt right now...so much! And it's not going to get better until mid-June when I finish teaching the last of my classes. So uploading may be spotty between now and then...my apologies!!!

In other news, I've entered Evening Star in the 2011 Wattys! I won't win, but it's fun to try. :) So please help me by voting!!!! :) 

Love you guys--and thanks for your patience. The chapter after this is going to be hilarious--Edward will go hunting with Emmett and Jazz--and you know what kind of trouble those two (especially Emmett!) can get Edward into, LOL!!!

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Chapter Twenty-Eight: Another Topic

After a long, sweet kiss, Bella loosed her arms from around my neck and leaned back to glance up at me. “Can I talk to you about something, too?” she asked.

“You know you can—about anything,” I assured her, trying not to worry as I noted the serious expression on her face.

Bella looked down at her hands in her lap, seeming to avoid my gaze. “I'm afraid that you might get mad at me,” she said softly.

Her reluctance to look at me caused anxiety to quicken my breaths. But I rushed to calm her concerns despite my own worry.

“Love, really. I won't be angry.”

“Promise?” she asked, still not looking up.

“Promise.” I leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on her warm, blushing cheek.

“We haven't talked about it all summer...not really since Prom. And I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten,” she almost whispered, ducking her head further.

I had an inkling of her topic now, and my lips folded into a displeased line that fortunately she didn't see with her face averted.

“I think we can solve this dilemma,” she continued in the same low voice. “You know, make things easier for you.” She finally looked up, a wistful expression crossing her face. Before she could notice my displeasure, I wiped my own facial expression to one of blank calm. But as I searched her face, I noticed a hardness in her usually soft brown eyes which denoted her stubbornness all too clearly. I repressed a frustrated sigh.

“I know what you're thinking,” I spoke slowly, and recognized a hard note in my own voice that was rarely present when I spoke to her. “And I won't do it. I won't let it happen to you. The rest of us...we had no choice in the matter. It was death...or this 'life,' or whatever it is. But you have a choice that we did not have. You cannot take that choice lightly, Bella.”

“But becoming like you would solve everything! We could be together, the way we want to. And being with me wouldn't be a struggle for you any more. It makes perfect sense,” she pleaded.

“Isabella, I will not be responsible for your death or for the loss of your soul,” I ground out between clenched teeth. “Think about your father, your mother, your friends, Bella. You would never be able to see them again. Ever. You would have no life. I can't let that happen to you. I won't let it happen. And that's final.”

Bella sighed. “I knew you would be angry,” she whispered. Her eyes were defiant, but I could see tears beginning to gather along the rims, and her face suddenly looked like that of a young child in its sadness.

Unclenching my rigid jaw, I felt my anger melt under her sorrowful expression. I closed my eyes for a moment, willing myself to calm down and not take out my anger on her. It wasn't Bella's fault that she didn't understand the repulsive act she was pleading for since I had hidden the monster in me all too well, withholding vital information from Bella in order to not alarm her. All she saw was the exterior beauty of myself and my family; she didn't see the horror of the bloodthirsty beings we were...or the terror we produced—or our “mistakes” when temptation overpowered us. We played our parts all-too-well around her, and that was our fault. My fault. I couldn't be angry at her for not understanding, but I also wasn't going to explain in any more detail to her than was absolutely necessary. Bella didn't need even more nightmares waking her when she was already experiences horrific visions of James at night far too often.