Just your typical bestfriends-since-birth story but add a little complication on the side with the influence of alcohol, music, arts, and feelings- get to know how Gin and Lorenzo took their friendship into the next level.
Or, will they?
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I woke up with swollen eyes. I felt like I've ran a marathon and my head hurts like hell. I scanned my surroundings and realized i was in my room. I leaned on my bed frame and reach for the glass of water on the bedside table.
"Ano masakit ulo mo?" I almost jumped out of the bed when I heard Jimin speak.
"Tangina. Nandyan ka pala."
"Ay opo ante. Caregiver mo sa ngayon."
"Bakit?" I asked as I massaged my temples. "Tanginang ulo to. Bat ang sakit."
"Ay beh, ikaw ba naman humandusay doon sa labas ayaw paawat kakaiyak, sasakit talaga yan. Kahit ulo ng mga magulang mo sumakit dahil sayo eh."
Then everything came flashing back before me. The endless weeping, begging, and making myself believe that all of these were lies.
Akala ko masakit na yung mga nangyari kagabi. May mas sasakit pa pala. Mas masakit pala gumising kinabukasan na alam mong wala na talaga. Wala ka nang makitang pag asa. Tapos na. Tinapos na niya.
Nag umpisang mangilid ang mga luha ko. Pang ilang iyak ko na ba to? Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko alam kung titigil pa ba. Parang dinudurog yung puso ko. Everything just hurts.
I want to ask him so many questions. I want to know what made him decide to leave me. I want to know if I am not worthy of his love. I want to know if I am not worth fighting for.
Jimin climbed up my bed to hug me. "Ssshh tahan na, Gin. Tama na. Mahirap lumaban kapag ikaw lang mag isang kumakapit." He said, rubbing my back to comfort me.
Days, weeks, and months passed that I never said a single thing to people. Kahit anong pilit ni Jimin na lumabas ako ng bahay, hindi ko ginawa. I can't eat properly. I stopped going to all my classes too. Everything reminds me of him. And that's what buried me deep into depression.
My parents booked our ticket to New York and I never once protested against it. Hinayaan ko na silang patakbuhin yung buhay ko. Tutal ganon naman ang nangyari. Ganon naman ang ginawa nilang lahat sa akin. They decided everything on their own without consulting me. My parents and Ian, they're all the same.
Dumating kami sa New York nang wala akong pakialam sa mga nagyayari sa paligid ko. My parents fixed everything for me. My therapy, my college applications, my new apartment. Everything. Wala akong sinabing kahit ano.
I feel like a dead person barely living for the sake of existing. I started not giving a fuck to everyone. I only talk when it's necessary.
Pucha, hindi ko nga alam bakit nandito pa ako eh. Kung hindi lang ako naabutan ni Jimin sa bathtub noon, baka wala na ako.
My heart got numb from the pain inflicted on me by the people I value the most. From the person I have loved the most. I don't trust anyone anymore. Not even myself.
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