As Never Was

Chapter 7

It all started, like everything else does, with a dreaded feeling. For all that Alex was an optimist, there will always be voices in his heart that taught him how exactly to be a person brimming with positivity. All he ever needed to do was think of the opposite. It works. For the most part. 

The sky is grey? 

The petrichor would be amazing. 

That one half of the sock missing? 

Time to do a spring cleaning! 

The cereal ran out? 

Switch with fruits. It's nature's call! 

Charles behaving strangely? 

Well. Actually, hmm. Scratch that. Opposites sometimes doesn't work. One does not simply ignore Charles' cranky side. The number of times Alex had seen his friend behaving so out of character, it was when he was sick. Sick and apparently lost whatever light he had in his heart. Apparently illnesses meant that someone's demonic form would take over and possess their bodies for the duration of which their angelic version is indisposed. In the case of Charles, his demonic form may not be too obvious most of the time, but attentive as he was, Alex was absolurely professional at noticing the signs. 

For one, Charles' eye would twitch. Specifically, his left eye, very briefly, followed by a tense figure, frozen in the middle of the hallway and looking at them with an incomprehensible look that was enough to garner everyone's worry. 

Alex's first assumption was that maybe Charles secretly disliked pineapple jam, which was what they were having for breakfast that day, and that day just happen to be one of the days where some people just couldn't handle their normal quota of bullshit. It was perfectly sensible. Alex had those bouts too, the latest one being two years ago. He, thankfully, hadn't had those again. Yet. 

But Charles was so clearly upset, and Alex was just about to offer him some mango jams instead, which he knew the blond liked best, when Charles sat at the table silently, smiling his bright smile and proceeded to continue with his routine as always, pineapple jam on bread, a glass of milk and a serving of omelletes freshly out of the pan. He greeted them good morning. He talked about class. He asked about homework, and checked his phone as per the norms. 

What wasn't per the norms, was when Charles very briefly choked on his bread, extremely briefly — it could barely be counted as a second — the moment he switched his phone on. And just like that, everything went back to normal. 

The easiest thing to assume was that it was genuinely an accident, and that Charles, the person who has the most control over his facial muscles, just wanted to save himself the embarrassment of having choked on bread. Which was perfectly sensible. They were all of the masculine gender. Pride is a thing. Even though it wasn't exactly as significant for Alex's part, he wouldn't blame Charles for wanting to save face. After all, he was one of the people who had enough poise to be filmed throughout his entire life without having a single bad shot. 

So he let it be. 

And then when they reached class, Alex brought out his books and started to read, as he was used to do, every single day before class started. When he felt a blatant emptiness next to him, and somewhere around his circle, his eyes darted around. When he saw Charles standing by the door of the classroom, looking at something, bag still hung on his shoulder and expression as empty as Alex's cereal box, his own eyes twitched.