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( FAYE )
one month has passed by since sadie and i officially labelled our relationship. it's still strange to reflect on how we began dating or the events that led up to it. nonetheless, i'm happy. we're happy. that's all that matters.
although occasional doubt and guilt seem to resurface, i'm surely getting more adept at pushing them away, at trusting sadie.
anytime the thought of next week crosses my mind, my stomach ties up into knots.
since it's christmas, i'm accompanying sadie to visit her family for nearly a week. although i am excited to meet the sink family, i can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of unease. to be fair, i'm not me without a sense of unease about everything.
it feels so early to meet her family. we've only been together for a month with barely anything figured out yet.
that isn't the only factor bothering me. what if they don't like me? her parents have been so appreciative of her sexuality, what if they're disappointed when they meet her failure of a girlfriend? there's no chance i meet their standards.
surely they have this vision in mind of this successful, well educated girl. that's not me.
- ★ -
"they're gonna hate me"
the car engine hums as i sit in the passenger seat, fidgeting with my seatbelt while glancing out the window.
sadie looks over at me from behind the wheel with adoration. "they won't hate you, my love"
"i'm just so nervous" i sigh. "i need them to like me"
sadie grins and reaches out to gently squeeze my hand. "they'll love you, i promise. just be yourself. you're amazing"
"i don't know, sades. what if i say something weird or spill cranberry sauce on the table or accidentally insult their tree decorations? what if they think i'm not good enough for their perfect daughter?"
sadie stifles a laugh. "darling, you're overthinking it. even if any of those things did somehow happen, they'd just laugh it off"
her reassuring voice and touch seem to numb my dread easily.
"besides, i'm sure they'll be too busy bullying me the whole week" she scoffs.
