(JAREDS POV)
I sit down on my bed; my back facing the headboard as me and Austin set some of the snacks we've acquired from the kitchen, on the bed. I take a small glance at Austin, who's sitting down beside me, waiting for the VHS tape to start playing.
It was nice to sit here, and look at Austin without being filled with hatred. I don't quite understand my feelings for him— let alone his feelings for me. One part of me is telling me that he's actually starting to like me— but the other part is telling me the only reason he's here right now is because his dad basically kicked him out for the night.
Which.. is technically true.
I rest my back against the headboard of my bed; Austin doing the same, as the movie begins to play on my 13 inch CRT TV. I reach into the popcorn bowl, as Austin starts to open a bag of UTZ Salt and Vinegar chips.
I take one swift glance at Austin, realizing we were rather close; our shoulders touching. My bed was only a full size bed, and could barely fit two teenage boys.
The last time I've sat on my bed like this, watching a movie with someone, was back in middle school. Usually when I hangout with my friends, we watch a movie in the living room, rather than on my bed.
It's not like I minded being beside Austin anyway.
I put my gaze back on the TV, realizing I might have been admiring Austin for too long.
Reaching my hand into the popcorn bowl once more, I didn't realize Austin decided to do the same. Our hands touch for a slight second, before we both immediately retract them.
"Sorry-" We both stutter out, glancing at each other.
It was silence for a moment, until I chuckled slightly, causing Austin too also. We laugh momentarily, before Austin reaches back into the bowl.
"There, now you can go." He teased, stuffing popcorn into his mouth.
I laugh, rolling my eyes, as I grab some popcorn.
Focusing my eyes back on the TV, I soon notice I can't stop smiling. I took a small breath in an attempt to stop. It's almost like my eyes are on the TV, but my brain is elsewhere.
You know when you're reading a book, and your eyes are following the words but your mind isn't paying attention at all, so you have to restart the page? This is what was happening right now. My brain wasn't focusing on the movie— it was focused on Austin.
I've seen this movie about a thousand times, to the point where I could probably quote almost every single word. So, who cares if my mind is focused on him?
I go deep in thought for a moment, thinking about... feelings. I've talked to my feelings about Austin to Tyson, and he's tried to help me out— which I appreciate.
It's almost like, the more I hang out with him— or see him in general, the more.. flustered I get around him. Every time I see him, my heart skips a beat, and my voice cracks and gets all shaky. I always find myself subconsciously staring at him. When me and Cheryl started dating, that's how I was around her.. but it's not like that anymore.
I don't know my feelings anymore. I'm so confused, and all of my feelings are making me stressed. I've never felt this way around Austin before.
Around a boy before.
I flinch— immediately getting taken away from my thoughts as I feel a small bump on my shoulder. I looked over at Austin, to find him..
Asleep.
On my shoulder.
I freeze for a moment, taking in what's happening. I look at the TV, realizing we were only about 40 minutes into the movie.
I felt my face heat up, and I find myself staring— admiring Austin. He looked so peaceful.. so sweet.
I smile softly, remembering an article I had read a few days ago. It had said that people who tend to fall asleep easily around you, usually find comfort and trust in you.
So it was either Austin trusted me, or he figured the movie was pretty boring.
I didn't know what time it was, but I figured it was round 8:30 since it was already dark outside.
I feel my arm get numb, so slowly, but surely I move my arm to wrap around Austin's shoulder; pulling him slightly closer, almost as if we were.. cuddling. I rub his arm with my thumb, as my eyes are completely focused on every feature of his face... his hair.
Him.
I play with his hair for a moment. He had soft, dirty blonde hair, that usually got in his face a lot. His eyebrows were slightly darker than his hair. And the pink tint on his face complimented his cheeks.
He had pretty long lashes, the same color as his eyebrows. His nose had a small little bump on it— which I found attractive.
I'm not afraid to admit my feelings for L'Austin Space. I've told Tyson time and time again about it.
But I am afraid to admit my feelings for L'Austin Space..
To Cheryl.
What would she even think? How could I even break the news to her?
Part of me is saying to not tell her— and hope these feelings for Austin disappear. But the other part of me is saying I should tell her, and that it's the right thing to do.
I have many different parts of me, don't I?
I glance up at the door, hearing a knock on it— followed by it opening. I immediately jump, trying to remove my arm from around Austin.
"Hey Jared, can I borrow-"
I freeze, as my eyes connect with Tyson's. He pauses at the door, his mouth agape. I sit up quickly, removing my arm from around Austin's shoulder— causing him to wake up.
I clear my throat "Uh, hey Tyson— whatcha need?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck with the arm that was wrapped around Austin moments before.
Tyson nods slightly, giving a subtle smirk. "Actually— never mind." He smiled. "We'll talk later." And with that, Tyson leaves, closing the door behind him.
"What happened?" Austin groans, sitting up slightly.
I shrug— not daring to look at him. "I— uh.. I don't know, Tyson came in here."
"For what?" He asked.
"I don't know— probably just to annoy me. You know how brothers are." I laugh softly.
Austin crosses his arm, nodding back off to sleep.
"..Hey— are you sleeping in my bed tonight?" I ask.
He takes a small glance at me. "Do you not want me to?"
"No, no— I mean, whatever you want." I shake my hands.
"Mm.. I don't really feel like getting up and going to your guest room." He says, sinking down into my bed. "And besides, your bed is more comfier."
Austin rolls over, his back facing me, as he drowns himself in my covers.
"Ah— right, okay." I look at Austin, giving a small smile; even though he couldn't see it.
I lay down beside him, my eyes staring at his back.
"..Goodnight." I whisper— part of me hoping he wouldn't hear.
He doesn't say anything, so i roll over, our backs facing each other.
"Goodnight.. Jared." Austin replies softly.
Even though I wasn't moving, I felt myself freeze for a moment.
Jared? No snide remark? No gopher?
When does he ever call me Jared?
I hide my face in my blanket, sighing softly.
I can't believe Im sleeping with L'Austin Space.
