||MY STAR ⭐️||(Rubykana)

Chapter 4| Unhealthy obsession

I loved him...

He... he made me think love was real but that same... person destroyed that thought without a single heartbeat.

My heart was moving faster than my brain. I learned the hard way that that leads to irrational thinking.
I Kana Arima was in love. Having life as an actor was hard. He never ended up helping me but his eyes were somewhat mesmerising.
But that resting bitch face. That blonde hair.

I was in love with Aquamarine Hoshino.

It was the park. The perfect place to confess so I texted him. I said and i quote 'Wanna go park aqua<3' but as this was in his filming hours i said to myself lets just stay home.

I decided to watch the series he was in, it was a huge mistake. I was on my bed in front of my Tv texting my filming agent about a role i got cast in. I wasn't really paying any mind to teh screen until the last 5 minutes of the season finale played on. I love you Akane~

My eyes flew to the screen instantly. "H-he lo-loves her" I remember on that night my mood was ruined. I couldn't do anything about it. Because who was I to stick my nose in Aquas love life.

My emotions were not working. My face was stuck. Crying. I really loved that man. I really did. H-he motivated me by just being present.

For a whole week I sat there. Watching the scene on repeat for even a glimpse of a twitch he was lying. But nothing, by friday i was a mess. My mental wellbeing didn't matter in the weeks i spent in my room. I saw myself as a burden.

I never stopped thinking, thinking about Aqua. He loved Akanae Kurikuwa my rival. And there was simply nothing I could do about it. Nothing.

On Saturday i spent that day stalking their socials. It was painful wallowing in my own pity for a whole week. So by Sunday i said "Pull yourself together Kana!" As much as those words hurt. I had to.

I missed school for a whole week with no way of teachers or friends knowing if i was okay or not. Honestly I think I was being over dramatic but my mental state before I found out Aqua was dating Akane was not the best so you can't blame me all that much.

But on Monday of the next week. I didn't want to go to school I just wanted to die. Nothing more nothing less but something was stopping me no someone.

But for all I know it was not Aqua it was somebody else. So i headed off to school with puffy eyes and an empty stomach. In those desperate moments i never once thought of food so i didn't eat for a week.

When I walked through the corridors for the first time in 7 days I felt proud. Proud I could finally do something other than feel like digging a whole and throwing myself into it.

I felt a swift breeze before i was ambushed with a hug. I missed you too Blondie.

From that day on. I Kana Arima vowed that would not fall in love with anyone.

Even if it costed my life...

Oh my days hellorr peeps this is such a late chapter but its had to be done so I decided to make one for yall. Yeah so tests just technically exams just finished so like yeah. Hope yall having a good day
578 words
-Ai💙