Short Stories

☆

Dark clouds scatter above, rain falls in heavy torrents. I pull my hood tighter over my face, but it's no use, it's already drenched. I can feel water seeping beneath, probably getting my hair wet. With rain or tears, I can't tell. My crocs sink deeper into the mud, I look down to find my supposed-to-be-white socks now a dirty brown. That will be hard to hide. Oh well, it's not like I care anymore.

I close my eyes. Take a deep breath.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

It's what Clara says I'm supposed to do. And I'm trying to follow her instructions. At least I keep telling myself I am. Why would I be here if I truly thought I was?

Inhale.

Exhale.

"Dad." I squeeze my eyes tighter shut. "I don't know if you can hear me...but I need you. It's hard. It's really hard. I need your help. Sam and Nira are nice, but they aren't like parents. They're different from you. I know it's my fault you're gone...and I'll never forgive myself for it....But I need to know you're listening. Clara says talking to you is a bad idea, she says it will only make the pain worse. But...but I think I need to. I need help, Dad. I-I-"

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Ex-

I jump, as a crack of lightning splits the sky. Ugh, this is what scares you, Vivian, really? A gust of air whistles past, making me stumble a step. I grit my teeth as a sharp chill prickles my spine, like little needles. I really should get inside. I risk one last look at the gravestone jutting from the rocky ground. I sigh, then turn on my heel and flee through the night.

*☆*

My heart is racing when I finally stop, at the back door. I made sure it was closed before leaving, but the wind seems to have blown it open. I stifle a gasp. The carpet is soaked with rainwater.

Oh no.

Sam and Nira can't know I've been sneaking out at night. They'll be so mad. They were the last time they caught me.

Don't ever do that again. Nira told me. Your father died, you need to face it. Get over it, put it in the past, and move on.

That's what Clara says too. But I don't think it's what I'm supposed to do. You're supposed to grieve, right?

I close the door and hurry to the end of the basement. I pull out my phone and turn on the flashlight. I go up the steps as quietly and quickly as I can. I slow my pace and dim my light as I go past Sam and Nira's bedroom. When I reach my room in the attic, I find a stack of towels in my closet. I tuck them under my arm and sneak downstairs again. I dry up the mess as best I can, but there's still wet spots on the floor when I'm done. Hopefully they'll be gone by morning.

I gather the towels in my arms, and start for the stairs again, my phone balanced precariously on the towel stack. I climb up the ladder quietly, and am almost to the top when my flashlight turns off. Dammit, dead battery. I curse silently, and creep the rest of the way to my room in the dark. I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding when I get there. Good, completely quiet so far.

I move across the room, groping for the light switch.

BAM!

I hold my toe, and wince. So much for being quiet. I freeze, and then come to my senses and rip off my shoes and socks and toss them under my bed. In one movement I jump into my bed and pull the sheets up.

There's a murmur beneath me. Then a creak on the stairs.

"Vivian? Are you all right?" Uncle Sam.

I snap my eyes shut as he pushes the door open, and light floods the room.

Uncle quietly studies my "sleeping" form. Then looks around the room, he lets out a sigh, and then shakes his head.

My pulse pounds in my ears. As he stares forlornly at me. "Good night, Vivian." And then he's gone.

I open my eyes once I'm sure he's gone and sigh with relief. Then I quietly hop out of bed and spread the towels out on the floor of my closet to dry. I climb back into bed and plug my phone up on my night table. After a second, light from the screen shines on my face.

2: 35

Another late night. I force myself to turn my phone off and roll over. I'm exhausted, these midnight excursions are tiring. But I can't stop going, night after night.

Vivian. I hear Clara's voice in my mind. Sneaking out at night? I know you are dealing with a lot right now, but sneaking out at night to see your father's grave isn't going to fix anything.

I want to listen to her, because she's right. It only makes the pain worse. It's not going to fix anything. And until I stop going, nothing is going to change. But it's the only way I can stay connected to my dad. Sam and Nira have erased every memory of him. And I have to remember him. I have to keep the flickering flame of him alive.