CURSE, LOVE & CRUELTY

CHAPTER 1

This book is dedicated to my three girls; Charli, Keisha, Tina. I love you all so much!

Part 1: curse

I've always been told I was cursed, everyone I knew told me, including my mother. Ever since I could remember. "Thana! How did this happen, you must be cursed, get out of my sight." my mother would scream at me every time I accidentally made a mistake. That phrase is one of the only things I can remember from my childhood.

My mother's standards were extremely over the top crazy. At least that's what my dad says.
I don't remember my mother at all, apparently, she was; tall, beautiful, compassionate, loving. Those are all the words my father has used to describe her; however, I can never recall these traits. I can never recall her face, even when I see a picture, I always assume it's some random person who my dad used to know. I never put her face and the word 'mum' together. Mostly because dad refers to her as her real name; Ana.

She died when I was young, aged 3, and ever since I was twelve, I haven't been able to remember a thing about my life with my mum. It's only my dad, my brother and me. For a while it was also my dog, crumble, but he passed when I was 10. He was my best-friend in the entire world.

I don't even know how my mum died. Dad says car crash, James, my stupid older brother, says suicide. Everyone tells me something different, so I don't know who to believe. There was no funeral, no celebration of her life. It's like everybody who knew my mother, wants to forget her for some reason.

~~~

My grey eye's stared back at me in the mirror, my black hair held in a ponytail on top of my head. looking at the picture in my hand from when mum was my age, I wondered why dad had this photo of 16-year-old Ana. I saw the resemblance between us. She was stunning at age 16, I was just an unpleasant looking person, whose hygiene probably wasn't up to date. I don't understand how someone so gorgeous made someone so unappealing to look at.

~~~

Sitting on a stool in the kitchen, watching videos on my phone, I watched my brother through my prereferral vision, eat a sandwich. I don't know why but the way he continuously nibbled at the edge meant for a great way to somehow make fun of him.

James was very tall and muscular. His fluffy brown hair was as perfect as ever. His big sea blue eyes taunted me every chance they could. Numerous freckles covered the area on and around his nose, including his cheeks. He got pretty genes from somewhere, while I was stuck with mum and dad's flaws mixed together, neither of their good genes were passed onto me.

"do you even know how to eat a sandwich?" I teased, smirking at him. A giggle forming in the back of my throat. Instead of retaliating with a comeback or burn. He just shoved me off my chair and laughed at me bruising my tailbone. Cunt!

Every time I tried to get back on, he'd let me sit for about ten seconds before pushing me off once more. Over and over again, he would push me off. Causing me to land on my back, legs and butt, continuously.

"Oh my god, just let me sit down, I said one thing." I protest, moving my chair, to what I thought was out of his reach.

"And I'm still pissed off" he taunted, pushing me off the chair once again.

"Dad!" I yelled from the kitchen, calling my dad, Michael, who was working in the other room. Dad was once a very handsome guy. I've seen pictures from before James and I were in the picture of his life. His brown eyes were drained, his face covered in wrinkles. Two kids weren't easy on his aging. His tall 6'8 body had turned from perfect six pack to a dad bod in the span of two years. After mum died he let himself go a little bit.