Little Drummer Girl (NiallHoran/LouisTomlinson) -on hold-

Chapter 6.

I went to run out behind him but Louis grabbed me and looked me in the eyes. "Don't, let him cool off and Liam will go and check on him, okay?" I slowly nodded my head and sat down on one off the boys beds. Louis sat down next to me, I felt a warm tear drop run down my face and hit my hands that were sitting in my lap. I quickly wiped it away and put my head in my hands.

Louis put his arm around my shoulder and I felt myself being pulled closer to his body. "Nat,honey look at me." he said as I pulled away from his chest and looked at they bright blue eyes. "We both know, you are the centre of Niall's world, he would take a bullet for you. He's wrapped around that little finger of yours" he said picking up my hand laughing slightly.

"He was just in shock, he had to say goodbye and prepare himself for being away from you for months at a time and then the next thing your not and you're going to be there. So just let him cool down" I nodded slowly knowing he was only telling me that to make me feel better.

I stood up and told him I was going to go back to my room and let him have space. "Okay but If you need me phone me" I looked around and realized that all the other boys and Charlie had disappeared. "Where did Charlie go?" "Lunch with the boys, then she's going to get her flight. She said she'll see you later. Harry text me" I nodded knowing there was only one thing on my mind.

I went back into my hotel room shutting it behind me. I grabbed a small black bag out my suitcase realizing Charlie's things had gone. I went into the bathroom shut the door behind me and locked it. I slide down the back off the door bursting into tears.

I opened the little black bag to reveal my old friend. I rolled up my sleeves revealing a gallery off little white and pink lines. Some new, some old, some faded, some just like the day I first created them.

I pulled out my blade from the bag and pressed it against a blank piece of my canvas soon it wasn't so blank but red liquid slowly trickling down my arm. I grabbed some toilet roll so it wouldn't go on my clothes but I just let the blood slowly roll down my arm.

No one except one person knew about my self harm. Her name is Aleea, she lives in America we met online and she was the one who encouraged me to stop hurting myself even though I know I've just broke 10 months of sobriety I guess you could call it, it felt so good.Just to have a release. A lot off people don't understand why people self harm but I guess.

You can't understand unless you're life is that bad you hurt yourself. I'm in no way saying hurting yourself if the right thing to do. But it is for me.

I realized the blood seemed to be rolling down my arm faster than normal. I created another couple off cuts and then placed a piece of toilet roll with some pressure. I sat behind the door crying. When the bleeding eased off a bit I put on a few plasters and a bandage and rolled down my sleeves. I unlocked and opened the bathroom door when I walked into my brother.

"Niall?" "I'm so sorry Nat, I over reacted, I was just surprised and I don't know what was going through my head. Can you please forgive me? I'm sorry baby sis, I just didn't know what to do. There was a reason why I kept you away from this life you know!" "It's okay bro, I know you over reacted but I know why you did it because you care about me" I said walking by him smiling kinda.

He grabbed my wrist and I winced at him touching my cuts. "Come out for lunch with me, before we head to rehearsals?" I nodded slightly lifting my phone off the side off the bed that I had forgot to lift earlier slipping the little black bad under my pillow and heading out to lunch with Ni.

We finished having lunch at a diner that didn't look very busy. We jumped into a car and started heading to the venue. As we drew into it, there was screaming fans banging on the tinted glass, I could feel a panic attack come on but I just took a couple off deep breaths and it passed, I've had so many panic attacks in my life I know how to bypass one.

We got into the building after learning Simon had put out the announcement earlier while we were in bed because he was in LA and the time zones were different. He had just simply said I didn't want to be in the limelight so Niall never spoke about me. But I'm doing the band a favour by standing in for Josh.

I went in and met the rest off the boys again and all the their band members most off the security, Lou, Lottie and other people who work behind the scenes. Tonight wasn't going to be my first show, they had another drummer to do tonight's show so I'm just getting shows how things work and then tomorrow I will be actually on stage performing.

I have performed before at school, but never in front off a crowd so big. I've only even performed to 1000 people tops. That is my only worry, I'm going to mess up. I mean the Allianz Stadium holds over 45,000.

Niall, Harry, Liam and Zayn had went to practice, I told them I had to use the bathroom then go join them. Louis told me he'd show me where to go. So we were heading back to the stadium ground when I was texting Charlie who had just safely landed on Bathurst Island when I bumped into someone.

"Oh shit sorry, never saw you" I said as I dropped my phone the person I walked into picked it up for me. I looked up and saw the one and only Dougie Poynter! "Oh my god!" I said as I stood speechless. I must look like a idiot, I worried as Louis and Dougie both laughed at me.

"Alright bro" Louis greeted Dougie. He smiled at me, "wait aren't you Niall's little sister?" I tried to reply but no words came out so I slowly nodded me head. "fan?" Dougie said to Louis and he simply replied "that obvious?" I playfully hit Louis arm and apologized once again for walking into him before getting a quick picture and heading out to sit in the empty crown and watch my brother and his band mates perform for the second time since he has started his career.

Before I knew it fans started to fill the audience. I quickly headed out before getting mobbed or something. Like anyone would know who I am anyway? I headed backstage to get changed as I was still in my wet leggings that Louis thought it would be funny to throw a bottle off water at me without the cap on while practising. Just Louis for you.

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So how did you guys like getting to see a little into Natalie's pat. Natalie has had a rough past and there is a lot even Niall doesn't know and you guys wont get to find that out until she slowly learns to trust one off the band members. I'm so grateful for all you guys love and support on this. I know the updates haven't been as frequent but I've just graduated high school, so exams are finally over. But yeah.Its finally summer so hopefully more frequent updates. Hopefully every 2nd Friday?

Love you all so much! Thank you for your support!