Not My Apricot

Chapter 1

Today's been a regular day, like any other. I got out of class and made my way back to my dorm with my friends. We decide it's a sleepover day, and everyone goes to my friend's room to crash. (Let's call her Marmalade.) We get bored of the gossip and try to play a game instead. I suggest a card game. A different friend agrees (Let's call her Avocado), but she's the only one, so we play Paranoia. Eventually, all we can think about is throwing babies off roofs and playing favorites. So we give up on that one as well.

Our last option. Never Have I Ever. We rarely play this one, so I guess that's one thing to make this mundane day a little special. We tried a psychopath version we found on YouTube. Then a genius version. Why? Because some of us are a little self-conceited, but it's to be expected from Indian kids brought up in America. We get bored of those videos too, so we play the regular version where we ask each other. We ended up targeting Avocado. It was pretty easy considering she's the only one with a boyfriend. But of course, I had a problem with this. I always have a problem with something or the other. Earlier we were talking about who is most likely to be gay. You know, random kid talk, right? But it was kind of hard to talk about it. It's not like I really care, but I would definitely go out with some of them if they weren't straight. But of course, they don't know that, and of course, they're never gonna know.

So, back to the game, we go one at a time, targeting Avocado as such:

| Never have I ever had a boyfriend |

| Never have I ever kissed a guy |

| Never have I ever had a crush on someone |

Now, of course, it was a dumb question. Most people would say yes. Except for me and Marmalade. Marmalade doesn't really care for boys, and neither do I, they know that. But they don't know my entire life. They've only been a part of my life for a year, so what would they know?

I put my finger down, hesitantly of course. I already know I couldn't lie. I'm terrible at that. So I put a finger down, hoping they won't notice.

And of course they don't. They couldn't, they were too focused on teasing Avocado.

Well, only one of them noticed: Marmalade. She thought I was her companion in this innocence, 

but no. I was more guilty than most of them there.

But, Marmalade being Marmalade, stayed quiet about it, and instead asked me about it in private later, when they all went to brush their teeth then come back to her room. I was already in pajamas and everything. Marmalade asked me: | Who was it? | all out of nowhere.

Now, I wasn't expecting the question to be concerning the game as I didn't notice her noticing me. So I respond with another, quite genuine question. | Who was what? |

She looks at me, devious, plotting little brown eyes of hers. | Who's your crush? |

Now, I'm panicking. I've literally never told anyone before, and I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets. I played it off, and I think I did quite well too. | Oh, are you talking about the game? |

| Yeah, what else would I be talking about? |

| Oh, yeah. I was recounting and realized I missed a finger. | I say, not exactly sure of how she might take that.

| Oh! | she laughs. | I thought you left me there for a minute! |

I laugh back, keeping my nervousness from escaping.

Don't worry, though. She's not my crush. Never in a million years. First of all, she has such a healthy relationship with her parents, I could never. And I love her mom, she's amazing. I could never do that to her.

So, yeah. That's the extent of the story. It's the furthest I could go.

Because now I morrow in sorrow about my childhood crush as she lives her happy life with her boyfriend.

Have fun. And now you know.

Let's call you Apricot.