Nothing Between Us (Revised Edition)

Prologue (NEW)

Jace

Fiction provides a path away from what is known and creates an escape when the world seems to collapse on itself. I have come to believe this statement to be true. As my parents drag me through their divorce, books are my only comfort. Well, books and making videos about books.

There is an entire community dedicated to sharing books on the internet. I first discovered it during a long fall down a rabbit hole of funny animal videos. I happened to click on a random video with a girl holding a large stack of books. The video was titled: I Read Twenty (20!) Books This Month! Intrigued, I watched all of the videos on the girl's channel, when I stumbled onto her first video. The one where she introduced herself to the BookTube community. She listed the questions in the description and made a joke about tagging every person watching to make a video of their own. Brilliant!

It didn't take me long to get myself set up. I had a growing bookshelf, perfect for my background, and I had a webcam attached to my laptop. Everything I needed to start was available to me. I didn't worry about making the video too fancy, and posted it immediately after I was finished. Little did I know what would follow. I have been making videos for three years now and BookTube is truly keeping me out of the gutter.

Dad is here to get the rest of his stuff. Mom is out; she doesn't want to see him ever again. I'm not fully aware of their reasons for separation, but Mom has led me to believe it's Dad's fault. I don't know who to believe over the other, so I keep my emotional distance from them both. And Mom has full custody with the condition I am the one who gets to decide if I want to visit Dad.

"Take care of your mom, Jason," Dad says with a heavy sigh as he stands near the front door. "I know things feel weird right now, but you mean the world to me. I truly hope you and I can hang out, like before."

I shrug, looking at him but not really.

"Jason, you know I love and care about you, right?"

I nod and reply, "I know, Dad."

I don't mean to, but it's kinda hard to say this without sounding snarky. At least I know he won't call me out on it.

"And you can call me about anything and everything... If you need me to come and get you, for whatever reason, I will drop everything."

I nod again, looking down at my feet as I kick the shaggy rug.

"Okay... then I guess I should be going now. Let your mom know I left next month's check on her dresser."

"Right," I say, looking into the living room, which is to my left. "Drive safe."

I hear Dad sigh, the shuffle of his feet and the door as it opens, and then closes. And it hits.

My parents are divorced. My dad is gone.

***

Mom has been visiting with old friends from her high school days. It's very not "Mom-like" because she is very big on getting enough sleep. I hear her getting home after midnight and beyond. There's nothing wrong with her having fun. I'm sure she needs it after the divorce. That doesn't bother me. What does bother me is the fact she's talking to someone. A man, specifically. Dad hasn't even been gone a month!

"Jace, honey?"

I'm in my room, editing a new video as Mom peers in my bedroom door.

"Kinda busy right now," I tell her as I rewind a single clip thirteen times to find the right place to cut back.

"Well, I need to talk to you," she replies, clearing her throat. "Please stop what you're doing and give me your full attention."

I groan under my breath as I remove my headphones and turn my chair to her.

"You have it," I say, crossing my arms and sitting back.

"Okay," Mom inhales deeply, closing her eyes, as if giving herself a pep-talk. "So, you know how I've been seeing old friends and going out most nights?"

"Yeah, what about it? It's not like you need my permission to have fun or anything."

"No, but now that things are moving forward... I do want to be transparent with you. I've been seeing an old boyfriend. We ended things before college and then I met your father."

My whole body grows tense. I know what Mom is about to tell me, and I don't think I can prepare myself enough to react properly.

"I really want you to meet Tyler," she says with a smile I have not seen since before the divorce. "He was out of town this week and is returning this afternoon. We're going out to dinner and I would like for you to join us. It will give you a chance to know each other and if things are going where I think they're going..."

I cannot help my frown, and Mom is not ignorant of it.

"Isn't it a bit soon for you to be dating?" I ask, deflating. "I understand you need to move on from Dad, but-"

Mom cuts me off and the justifications pour out. "My feelings for your father changed a long time ago and they were a contributing factor in the divorce. There were other reasons, but I don't want to taint your view of your father... Though the fact you chose to live with me means it already is tainted."

I narrow my gaze, but say nothing. My view of Dad is not tainted, I'm just disappointed the divorce happened at all. And why is Mom worried about this? Dad's the one who brought her the papers to sign, not the other way around.

"I don't think I'm ready for dinner," I say, clearing my throat as I put the headphones back on and turn my chair back around to my computer. "I need time to process this and in case you forgot... I'm getting over everything, too."

***

While I wait for my new video to finish processing, I'm catching up on my favorite channel. Izzy's Book Corner is home to the prettiest girl on all of BookTube. Well, that's my opinion. Izzy and I have been sharing books for a little under a year, and when she shares a new video I forget about the rest of the world. We've exchanged phone numbers and we text almost every day now.

Izzy: I've been waiting to bring it up, but how are you?

Izzy: Your parents finalized the divorce a few weeks back, right?

Me: I'm okay. Or I will be. And yes, it's over.

Izzy: If I can offer any consolation, you're allowed to pull 'Kid of Divorce' card on your parents.

Izzy: Works wonders!

I chuckle at my phone as I tap the buttons to type my reply.

Me: Thank you, I appreciate your advice.

Izzy: Well, I have watched my own parents divorce.

Izzy: And watched my dad divorce twice more.

Me: Oof! I have it easy compared to you.

Izzy: Oh, I'm fine. Completely unaffected.

Izzy: But the icing on the cake would be the fact my mom was his second.

Me: That I knew.

My heart is dancing a jig. I know the reason, and yet I'm not at a place where I feel free to tell Izzy how I feel. But hopefully I can build up the courage soon.