Fear

It started as everyday at camp started, a sluggishly slow morning still waking up even after i had finished breakfast. I would trudge across the soccer field, the grass still damp from the torrential downpour the night before. When I reached the end of the soccer field I'd come across an opening in the trees, from this opening I would follow an uneven gravel path. Once I reached the end of the gravel path I could tell that we were now at the ropes course, campers would rush down a small path behind the building me and another camper would come across before helping the ropes counselor. The counselor would lead us to a small building no larger than a small outhouse, the building we were led to reeked of mildew and cobwebs had covered most of the ceiling. Once we had entered the small decrepit building the counselor would walk over to a chest in the corner of the room. The chest didn't look like anything significant as it was a plastic chest with holes and cracks all over it. The counselor would produce a keychain that was previously attached to his belt, unsatisfied with the low visibility the counselor would walk over to the middle of the room where there was a small lightbulb hanging from the ceiling along with a small thread attached. The counselor lightly tugged on the thread attached to the lightbulb causing the room to be flooded in light, the sudden light allowed for us to see more than i would have liked as now i could properly see the cobwebs covering the entirety of the room with most webs containing siders with some now waking up from the sudden light. Once I finished looking around the room I would turn my gaze towards the counselor who would now be in front of the cracked and broken plastic chest. The counselor would be holding the keychain in one hand while he searched through the numerous amounts of keys that occupied his keychain, shortly after he began looking for the key he would find it. The counselor would hold the small metal lock attached to the plastic chest in his left hand while he held the key in his right hand before he would insert the key into the small metal lock and twisting it and hearing a click. The counselor would give the small lock to the other camper as he would pull out his phone and turn on the flashlight illuminating the now opened plastic box. Me and the other camper would peer past the counselor into the cracked box, we would both see several intermingled vests all with different assorted colors and sizes with various buckles and straps attached to them. The counselor would touch one of the vests showing a fine layer of both cobwebs and dust before turning off his phone and putting it back in his pocket then he would pick up a big yellow vest and would shake it violently causing dust and cobwebs to go flying. The counselor would repeat this process many times doing it with big yellow vests, medium sized red vests and finally finishing with small blue vests. Once the counselor finished shaking off all of the dust from the vests he would begin to hand all the small blue vests to the other camper then he would give me all of the medium sized red vests before placing the big yellow vests on the grimy dust covered floors. The counselor would close and lock the lid of the plastic chest that had previously contained the safety vests for the ropes course then he would pick up the big yellow vests and with that we began to leave the small claustrophobic shack. Me along with the counselor and other camper would begin our short walk to the zip line which reminded me that today is a special day, today is the day we get to use the zip line as this is the only day in the entire camp that we are allowed to use the zip line. Zip line days typically would be a cause for celebration but personally I was anxious as I had an intense fear of heights and not only that but as we had walked towards the zip line area I noticed that the wind had begun to pick up. We arrived at the zip line course to which the counselor was immediately flocked by campers asking for vests to which then the counselor would painfully pass out the safety vests to the other campers. Once we were no longer being flocked by other campers we would go to the base of the climbing wall to find out that the rest of the campers had set up the rest of what was needed now they just required the proper safety vests which we just brought. I would join a group of other campers holding a long thick line of rope hooked up to another camper as they inched their way up the climbing wall, once the camper reached the top of the climbing wall the rope would be disconnected and thrown down by the counselor at the top. Not long after the rope was disconnected from the harness we would see the camper at the top take a step off the climbing wall making them zoom down the zip line as they rapidly accelerated towards the end of the zip line. The camper would reach the end of the zip line and from there a counselor would help them down by using a ladder. It was now my turn and I was given the go ahead to start climbing the wall, I had reached about five feet up on the wall already and I could feel the bulkiness of the safety vest pushing down on my body. I would keep climbing pushing myself to go further up the wall despite my every senses screaming at me internally to come down, as much as I wanted to descend the rock wall I had this nagging fear that if I fell the other campers wouldn't be holding onto the rope tight enough. Not to mention if that wasn't concerning enough any little misstep on the rock wall had me thinking I would plummet due to the steps being so small and narrow. I kept climbing the wall and now I was in the final trek of the climb despite the steps being so narrow and getting glimpses of the ground from where I was I was terrified any little mistake would result in me becoming a pancake. The final trek of traversing the wall had to be the hardest as we were so high up I was constantly being pushed back and forth by the winds and to make matters even worse for me I had to hug the wall because I was starting to lose my footing so it was a constant fight with the weather as I slowly inched my way to the top. I had finally reached the top of the wall it had felt like I was climbing for hours, when I finally got on the top platform the counselor up there helped me disconnect the robe attached to my vest and reattach my vest to the zip line. I looked over the edge it was inevitable, when I did look over I never quite felt fear like that, it felt like at any second I might just fall off the platform and that would be the end of everything that I am. I had to hold my breath before the counselor would give me the go ahead to use the zip line, I let myself go down the zip line and when I did I went at incredible speeds that I couldn't even comprehend and if that wasn't enough I had no where else to look but down I wanted to scream but I couldn't I just felt this constant adrenaline go through my body as if any moment might be my last. I had reached the end of the zip line and I waited for a counselor to come help me down as I had time to realize those emotions, it felt terrifying but at the same time I've never felt more alive then in that exact moment. When the counselor finally helped me down I was constantly shaking from the mixed emotions of both pure terror and adrenaline, the experience was both riveting and terrifying unlike anything I've ever experienced before in my life.