love you (more and more each day)

one

Feraye stares at her phone, dread settling in the pit of her stomach.

Plums.

She's craving plums. At the most inconvenient time.

Tears spring to her eyes, and she laughs as she looks down at her barely there baby bump. "You're a little trouble maker."
She knows for a fact there are no plums in the house, and though she tries to sleep, she can't; all she can think about is the sweet taste of a plum on her tongue. She gets up, knowing any attempts at sleep will be useless. The room is dark so she turns at the wrong time and her knee hits the corner of the bed. She doesn't make a sound, but apparently, Ateş is a very light sleeper, because he startles awake with a sharp breath.

"Feraye?" He asks quietly, voice hoarse with the remnants of sleep. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she tries to smile. "Go back to sleep."

Ateş ignores her and sits up, rubbing his eye with a fist. It's such a childish move, and coupled with his ruffled hair, makes him look years younger. She feels herself soften, and a smile makes its way onto her lips.

"Why are you awake at-" he looks at his phone, "2 am?" He squints at her, his eyes roaming her body from head to toe as if he's checking if she's really okay.

"I just couldn't sleep."

He eyes her for a few seconds, then nods with a yawn. "Okay," he says, throwing off the covers, "do you want some company? I can make us some tea, we can sit out on the balcony-"

"I was going to go buy some plums," she cuts him off.

He's obviously startled by her abrupt interruption,  and possibly by the oddity of her statement. "You want to go buy plums?"

"Yes," she answers hesitantly.

"Now? At 2 am?"

"Yes," she says a little impatiently.
He huffs a disbelieving laugh. "Why?"
She looks down at the floor. "I- I just really want some plums."

"Feraya," he says quietly, fondly. She looks up at him, and her breath hitches at the way he's looking at her. "Cravings?"

She just nods.

He takes a step towards her. "Get back in bed."

Her shoulders slump in defeat. "But-"

"I'm going to go buy some," he interrupts her gently, hands on her shoulders, "why don't you rest, hm? I won't be long."

Her eyes fill with tears. "Thank you."

His smile is small and sweet. "You don't have to thank me. Do you need anything else?"
She shakes her head, watches him grab his phone, keys and wallet. With one last soft look, he closes the door behind him.

Feraye sits on the couch, puts her head in her hands and allows only a couple of tears to escape. Ateş is too kind, and he deserves better than to be lied to, but she's helpless. She feels stuck, and every day, she discovers something about him that only manages to pull her more and more into his orbit. He's slowly becoming someone whose company she likes, and seeks out. He's not just her savior anymore, he's slowly becoming someone she cares about, and she doesn't want to lose that.

But- she will lose him.

It's just a matter of when.

                                                                                    

It takes him thirty minutes to come back. Feraye is on the verge of sleep when he puts a hand on her shoulder and shakes gently. She blinks up at him, disoriented, then looks down at the plate he's holding. The plate is loaded with plums, red and juicy and cut up into small bites. He sits beside her, then spears a piece with a fork and hands it to her. She closes her eyes at the first bite, smiling at the burst of flavor. When she opens her eyes, her heart flutters at the expression she sees on his face- a mix of fondness and hunger. He looks away when he sees her looking, clearing his throat.

"I want you to eat every last bite, you hear me, Feraye?"

She purses her lips, ducks her head down so he doesn't see her blush. "I'll do my best."

"Can I have my bed back now?"

She chokes on her next bite, and Ateş laughs. "I meant the couch, Feraye," he tells her, amused, "I have to wake up early tomorrow."
She immediately feels guilty. "I'm so-"

He glares at her playfully, "Feraye, what did we say about apologising?"

"But-"

"No buts," he tells her kindly, "you and the little one are very important to me. You don't need to apologise for needing or wanting anything."

"I don't want to be a burden, Ateş," she whispers.

He lifts her chin up, waits until her eyes meet his to speak. "You're not a burden. Not to me."
Her heart squeezes in her chest, and a knot in her stomach loosens. She doesn't know what posses her to do it; maybe it's the hormones, or maybe it's the fact that she hasn't felt this cherished, without being asked for anything in return, for once in her life, not even with Yaman- so she leans forward and throws her arms around his neck. It takes him a moment to respond, but then he pulls her closer, one hand cradling the back of her head and the other rubbing circles on her back.

I can fall asleep like this, she thinks, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He doesn't pull away, so she takes advantage of it and stays in the circle of his arms, safe and warm.
She feels the press of a kiss to the top of her head, and smiles.

I'm falling in love with him, she thinks, and it terrifies her, shakes her to the core, because it isn't supposed to happen.

Still, she pretends to be asleep, just to steal a few more minutes in his arms. "It seems you're going to make a habit of this, hmm?" He mutters, and she can hear the smile in his words. She doesn't understand what he means by it, but he surprises her when instead of waking her up, he puts one hand under her knees and one around her shoulders, then carries her to the bed.

He sets her down gently, covers her with a comforter, then presses a kiss to her forehead. "Sleep well, Ay ışığı," he whispers.
He turns off the lights, and only then does she allow herself to smile as hope blossoms in her chest.

                                                                                 

Next Chapter:

II. Ateş takes Feraye's father and his grandfather out to dinner. She watches him, and muses.