SMG3 and SMG4 Lose a Bet

Prologue

SMG3 and 4 were arguing in their shared office/bedroom. To the gang, this was just another Tuesday. The two of them would always argue. The moment any of them hear just the beginning of a disagreement, the other members will try to drown them out and carry on with their respective activities. Like this one time, where Meggy was talking to SMG4, and SMG3 had something snooty to say to him. So Meggy put her hands up and left the room, knowing she'd have to wait eons just for SMG3 to shut his fucking mouth and let her talk to SMG4.

So you could say, yes, it's just another Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. You get the point. It's every day of the week.

Today's argument was about Super Smash Bros Ultimate. SMG3 was gloating about how well he can play the game to SMG4, to which the latter tried one-upping him with his own prowess. Back and forth banter ensued, butting stubborn heads with one another.

"All I'm saying is that I could beat your ass at Smash!" SMG3 puffs out his chest to appear more superior to SMG4. "I'm one of the more seasoned players. You're so bad that I'd say Mario is better than you at Smash!"

"Mario's a DUMBASS!" SMG4 exclaims. "Last I checked, I have more than half a brain than he does! So, obviously, I'd beat him at a game of Smash! He doesn't even know how to use a controller! You're just insecure I'd wipe the floor with your snarky ass face!"

"OY!" SMG3 snaps, jabbing the other's chest with a finger. "I am NOT insecure about losing! Besides, I've never even seen you play Smash! Is it because you're shit at it and don't want me to find out? Is that it, SMG4?"

"EXCUSE ME?!" SMG4 reels back with an offended gasp, placing a hand on his chest. "I have played Smash, thank you very much!"

"You should smash some bitches!" SMG3 taunts him.

"I HAVE SMASHED SOME BITCHES!"

"YEAH? You're a virgin, last I checked!"

"WE HAD SEX IN A GODDAMN IGLOO SEVEN YEARS AGO-"

"THAT DOESN'T COUNT!"

When SMG4 tries biting back, SMG3 drowns him out by screaming like a child while putting his head in his hands in embarrassment. He shoved those Snowtrapped memories out a long time ago. It was genuine agony to be reminded of those dark times again out of left field. Perhaps it was a case of internalized homophobia?

Suddenly, the door to the office swings open. Mario comes stomping in to step in-between the two Meme Guardians, an unusually serious expression to his face.

"Why are Mario's friends fighting?!" he demanded, wagging a finger in each of their faces. "No fighting allowed! Talk to Mario about why you're fighting!"

With a deep, fed up sigh, SMG4 calms down and pinches the bridge of his nose. "You know what, I will be the bigger person here, and-"

"Oh BROTHER." SMG3 groans, eye rolling to another universe. "Let me tell him!"

"Don't interrupt me!" SMG4 growls.

"Make me, you bitch!"

The two immediately butt heads again, snarling at each other like dogs, before getting into their usual pathetic slap fight.

"Mario thinks there's a lot of tension between you two." Mario finally speaks up, looking at them bicker all over again with genuine disappointment.

"Geez, you THINK?!" SMG3 growls rudely, shoving his hand into SMG4's face.

"You two should kiss to make up!"

Immediately, the two of them move away from each other in shocked disgust, so much so that SMG3 stumbles onto the floor. He chokes on his saliva, being that surprised by such a question, and his face reddens with both embarrassment and anger.