So Long, Marianne: A Tale of Love, Conflict and Choices

Love's Fragile Choices: A Sojourn with Marianne

"So Long, Marianne: A Tale of Love, Conflict and Choices"
By Dex Amoroso

It all began with a simple online chat, a virtual whisper in the vast digital wilderness that would echo through time, shaping a story of love, conflict, and difficult choices. Dingdong first connected with Marianne through an online chat on TelNet. Although their initial conversation was brief, Dingdong managed to acquire her email address, which soon became their primary mode of communication. In time, her email even included her cellphone number. This was during the early days of text messaging gaining popularity.

Their exchanges via email and text messages revealed that Marianne worked as an instructor at an IT school in Cagayan de Oro City. It didn't take long for her to confide her plans to relocate to Manila in search of a greener pasture. They were two souls dancing to the rhythm of life.

One day, Marianne boarded a Philtranco bus from CDO to Manila. To her pleasant surprise, she realized the bus would briefly pass through the CBD Naga City terminal. Without hesitation, Marianne texted Dingdong, and he immediately made his way to the terminal for a chance encounter. As the bus pulled in, their eyes met, and the lyrics of Cohen's song resonated in Dingdong's mind, "So long, Marianne, it's time that we began to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again."

The Penafrancia Fiesta was scheduled to take place just a week later, and after the festivities, Dingdong planned to make his way to Manila in pursuit of employment. During this time, he stayed at his aunt's residence in Fairview. It marked his first experience in Manila, a city that initially felt intimidating due to its size, prevalence of ill-intentioned individuals, and high crime rates. It was during this period that Marianne became his confidante in his job search, a connection that would eventually evolve into a romantic relationship.

Marianne found a prestigious role at a leading IT company, while Dingdong took up whatever job he could find, even if it diverged from his computer science background. One cherished memory from that period stands out – a cozy evening when Marianne baked a chocolate cake that defied expectations by tasting like a rich, velvety pudding. As they indulged in this delightful culinary experiment, they shared hearty laughter and stories, discovering solace in life's simple pleasures amid the trials and tribulations of their job search.

However, when Marianne received a work assignment abroad, specifically in Sydney, Australia, she challenged Dingdong to remain faithful during her absence, a common concern in modern times. Her apprehension led them to hastily marry before her departure, fearing that Dingdong might be tempted while she was away. In response to her challenge, they formalized their union in a civil wedding. A few weeks later, she left for Sydney, and Dingdong continued working at a publishing company while saving diligently.

Being a devout Catholic, Dingdong's lifelong aspiration had always been to exchange sacred vows within the hallowed walls of a church. After Marianne returned to the Philippines following her Sydney assignment, they fulfilled this dream, celebrating their marriage in a beautiful church in Marikina City. However, despite the passing years, the blessing of children eluded them. They made a home in a humble apartment in Pasig, with her younger brother, a nursing student in Manila, as their sole companion. With their unwavering commitment to their respective careers, they made the practical decision to employ a house helper. As fate would have it, the person who became their house helper was a deaf-mute, previously a student at a special education school in Naga, where Dingdong's sibling served as an educator.

When Marianne received another work assignment, this time in Perth, Australia, she invited Dingdong to accompany her. They left their rented apartment behind, along with their deaf-mute house help and her brother, the nursing student. Unexpectedly, they were graced with a child. Miraculously, the pregnancy progressed without complications, as they had been blissfully unaware of her delicate condition.

One day, while relocating to a new apartment and busy packing their belongings, Marianne began to bleed. They rushed to the hospital, where a positive pregnancy test result was confirmed by a doctor. The doctor emphasized the importance of maintaining control of Marianne's blood sugar due to her diabetic condition.

With Marianne's belly steadily growing, they made the decision to return to the Philippines, fueled by concern for her well-being during her first pregnancy, especially since she lacked familial support in Australia. As a result, they found themselves back in their home country. It was during this period that Dingdong visited Naga, where his mother disclosed a disturbing revelation. Through his brother-in-law's proficiency in sign language, they unearthed a distressing truth: their deaf-mute house helper had fallen victim to five separate instances of rape, all at the hands of Marianne's brother. Shockingly, these assaults occurred while they were thousands of miles away in Australia, completely oblivious to the horrors unfolding in their Pasig apartment.

Dingdong shared this dreadful revelation with Marianne, expecting a unified front against the perpetrator. However, instead of anger and determination to bring her brother to justice, Marianne directed her fury at Dingdong. This disagreement escalated, leading Dingdong to collect his belongings hastily stashed in trash bags and seek refuge at his mother's house. Before departing for Naga, they visited a police precinct in Pasig, which had jurisdiction over the case. After a medico-legal examination confirmed the deaf-mute girl's status as a victim of sexual assault, they were referred to the PNP Women's Desk for further investigation.

With the help of Dingdong's brother-in-law, a qualified sign language interpreter, the victim finally found her voice and courageously shared the harrowing details of her abuse at the hands of Marianne's brother. As they confronted the weight of this grave situation, the attending police officer inquired about Dingdong's intentions regarding pursuing a legal case. She warned that standing by the deaf-mute girl could potentially unleash Marianne's anger and the fury of her extended family. In that challenging moment, Dingdong found himself in a difficult dilemma, torn between competing loyalties, but an unwavering sense of moral duty drove him to ensure that the voiceless victim received the justice she so rightly deserved.

Several days later, a subpoena was delivered to their residence in Cavite, where his wife and her extended family were residing, specifying Dingdong's name as the one who had aided the deaf-mute victim. This legal development further fueled their disagreements, ultimately resulting in their prolonged and potentially permanent separation—a painful separation from their son. Recognizing the gravity of the five counts of rape and the potential for her brother to remain incarcerated without bail if probable cause was found, Marianne's family urged Dingdong to arrange a settlement with the victim. They offered a financial settlement to persuade the victim to drop the charges. Although the victim received a partial payment, the full amount promised after she signed to withdraw the case was never delivered.

Dingdong's efforts to secure a settlement played a pivotal role in fostering reconciliation between Marianne and him, leading to the birth of another child, a boy. He had anticipated that this gesture would be received as an act of goodwill, but to his astonishment, it was met with anger. To compound the situation, her family opted to distort the facts, deliberately misrepresenting the circumstances to those who were aware of the rape allegations. They propagated the false narrative that the rapes never happened, all because her brother had not been incarcerated. In the aftermath of these events, their relationship suffered irreparable damage. Disagreements became a regular occurrence, and the shadow of past conflicts cast a long and ominous pall over them. Dingdong advocated for a more independent living arrangement, one that would free them from the pervasive influence of her extended family. However, Marianne's unwavering loyalty to her kin made it impossible for them to establish the much-needed separation from her extended family, which was essential for rebuilding their relationship. As a result, her extended family once again became an integral part of their lives, heavily reliant on Marianne's support.

The mounting disputes placed an immense strain on their relationship, making it increasingly challenging to discover common ground. As a temporary respite, even within the bonds of marriage, certain paths are destined to diverge. The weight of the extended family's conflicts eventually overshadowed the "for better or for worse" commitment. In the end, Marianne made the heart-wrenching choice to prioritize her extended family over their marriage, leading to a painful separation. Despite the trials, Dingdong couldn't help but hold dear the beautiful moments she brought into his life and their family's existence. The haunting melody of Leonard Cohen's "So Long, Marianne" lingered in his mind, serving as a poignant reminder of the bittersweet farewell that marked the end of their shared chapter.