Star-Crossed

Prologue: First Love

It was on the first day of middle school where I met Irelia. We were both far too busy introducing ourselves to others to pay much attention to each other, but for a brief moment, our gazes met. It was a unique feeling, one not easy to explain. By no means was it a case of love at first site, but there was a provocative, alluring aura about her. Something made me yearn to know her better. Ever since then, I always had an eye out for her in the back of my head.

My best friend Caleb is quite the eccentric character. He's never short of 'that's what she said' jokes and his favourite line is "she doesn't have to look at you as long if she's always laughing." But by no means was he sore sight. In fact, his witty jokes and attractive looks have earnt him quite the popularity with the girls in our class. We quickly hit it off after we realised we were in the same class and both on the volleyball team. Our humour bounced off each other flawlessly. It would almost seem as if we were not ourselves when we weren't with each other. Our close bond is precisely why I remember so distinctly when he first told me during a PE lesson break that he had feelings for Irelia.

"What!" I exclaimed to Caleb.

"Shhhh, it's not that big of a deal or anything," Caleb replied, quick to quell my excitement. At this point, Irelia and I were little more than acquaintances. There were times where I unconsciously noticed my glance falling upon her during class, or hoped to get paired for group activities so I could interact with her more, but I was far too young, shy and immature to do anything proactive and seek her out. So to me, this news was far from a gut-wrench. Quite the opposite in fact, it was a good source of entertainment for our rambunctious, hormonal, teenage selves.

What carried on in the following weeks was me acting as a sort of envoy for Caleb and Irelia. He wasn't his usual self with her. He'd stutter for words, fail to come up with his usual witty jokes, and was plainly, rather awkward around Irelia. So it was instead up to me to initiate the conversation with Irelia, and become friends with her so that I could facilitate more interactions between the two. Importantly, this gave me a reason to talk to Irelia. Our conversations initially revolved around probing what her type was for guys whilst being unsuspicious as possible, but as our friendship grew deeper, we found ourselves mutually learning more about each other. Not only what our naïve, adolescent minds wanted out of love, but also our upbringing, our worries, our fears, our dreams and goals about what we want to achieve in the future. Before long, we found ourselves calling each other late at night, hiding away from our parent's detection, giggling as quietly as we can to each other's jokes. Of course, being the loyal friend I was, I reported what I'd learn about Irelia to Caleb. He took this very seriously. It was obvious that during our group interactions with Irelia, Caleb would purposefully play into a character Irelia told me was her type – mysterious, cold, kept to themselves, which was the opposite of his normal character. From my standpoint, it couldn't be more obvious that this guy was absolutely smitten for this girl. And to be perfectly honest, all my time spent together with Irelia had an effect on me as well. As much as I denied it to myself, the highlight of my days would be when I could talk to Irelia.

It was a warm, summer day where we organised to go to a theme park as a group. There were four of us – Irelia and her friend Vi, Caleb and me. I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible in giving the two space. I would strike up a conversation with Vi and we'd walk behind the pair on our way to rollercoaster rides. After about a half-day of conquering the smaller rides, we made our way to the tallest rollercoaster of the park. Caleb and Irelia sat in the front of the cab, with Vi and I sat behind them. As the gears of the rollercoaster started clunking, I noticed Caleb slide his hand towards Irelia's on the metal beam handle positioned in front of the cab. As his hands covered on top of Irelia's, still gripping onto the handle, Caleb shot Irelia a reassuring glance, as if to say 'it'll be alright'. This left my heart in a state of limbo – I knew I should feel proud of my friend finally working up the courage to make a move but my gut felt otherwise. That and the visceral fear of the enormous impending drop of the rollercoaster left my emotions in absolute haywire. By the end of the ride, my mind was overwhelmed by the surge of adrenaline, but I couldn't stop myself from replaying the scene between Caleb and Irelia in my head.

As the day neared its end. We made our way to the front of the park for the nightly fireworks show. Trailing behind with Caleb, I punched him in the shoulder, teasing him about the move he made earlier. Caleb however, had more grandiose plans for the night. He was going to tell Irelia that 'he had something to tell her,' before trailing off with Irelia to watch the fireworks alone to confess to her his feelings. I was already far to committed into this scheme of his to express my disapproval now. So I gritted my teeth into a pulpy smile and feigned excitement at the plan.

As expected, by the time we reached the viewing deck, Caleb turned to Irelia and told her that he needed to speak to her in private. Vi was absolutely giddy about the action that was about to unfold before our eyes. I was less excited. As the two trailed off into the crowd, Irelia shot me a brief, apprehensive look. Too brief to decipher whether she was uncomfortable with the encounter, or whether she was just nervous, but either way, I couldn't bear to endure my imagination of what was going on between the two. I was focused on anything but the flamboyant fireworks bursting into all sorts of colours and patterns. A wave of anguish could be viscerally felt washing over me, as if my heart felt physically squeezed by an imaginary force. As much as I logically talked myself into feeling happiness for my friend, the gut-wrenching hold of jealousy was overpowering.

Vi and I made our way to the front gate of the park as the fireworks concluded and waited there for the remainder of the crew to show up. What I saw next was a bittersweet sight engraved into my mind till this very day. Caleb strolled in front of Irelia, about five paces ahead, teary-eyed and visibly agitated. As Vi and I walked forward to approach the two, Caleb grabbed me by the wrist and took me aside.

"You betrayed me!" he belched. Before I could get a word in, he cut me off saying, "We are no longer friends... Don't ever talk to me again." Confused by the sudden altercation, I asked Caleb what exactly happened between the two. "Irelia told me she liked someone else... Figure the rest out for yourself." Before I could stop Caleb to question what exactly he meant, he stormed off into the carpark by himself. I hurriedly approached Irelia, begging her for answers as to what happened. "What the hell happened between you two?" I exclaimed whilst putting a hand on Irelia's shoulder. She was visibly shaken after seeing the altercation between Caleb and I. Words were struggling to slip past the narrow rift between her lips. "I'm sorry that happened," She mutters, the words struggling to escape. After a deep breath, she has a slight shift in tone. Now more flustered than tongue-tied. "I told him that I liked you."

It was that night that for the first time I felt what it was like to lose someone close to you, a feeling I would later go on to understand very well. But at the time, I also gained something valuable I've only felt for the first time – love.