Late Night Thoughts

Chapter One

What are your thoughts? Floating expressions or words? Life has a way of surprising us; I never would have imagined that at 1:30 in the morning, I was unable to fall asleep while sitting on the floor of the room.
Since so many young, attractive youths died yesterday, I would say that experiences are what matters. Since it is May and we just finished youth week at school, I used the word "youths" to avoid detracting from the important subject I am discussing. But what is the subject? At one time, my thoughts would be in one place of residence, and then they would be somewhere. Even my keyboard is letting me know that I am using redundancy. I'm lost in contemplation, or I add to the tension I don't have but prefer to pretend I do. I have so many barriers around me that it can be difficult for me to deal with some situations. I might have the words in my brain, but they would never come out, and when I want to say them, I miss the chance. I should add that life should be regarded seriously because sometimes I feel floating and other times I live carefree. The ground is not where I can find it. I have that one person who will always keep me in check, and sure, I adore him, but why is it so difficult to express my feelings to him? Ah, I suppose I should say the topic, but we are returning to the same assertion. What ideas are, exactly? Am I making myself clear or do I have no idea what it's about? Dealing with a lack of trust is challenging. Do I fully understand the meaning of the word "trust" or am I just making it sound better than it is?
Without trust, there can be no happiness, and without happiness, where is there any place for trust? I lay in bed thinking, "Am I wrong to have started a topic about which I once experienced sadness and anxiety?" In a few hours, or simply a few minutes, a lot can occur.