Can't get back

Chapter 1

With a heavy feeling in my heart and emptiness in my arms, I lay in the bed of my dorm, reminiscing of the past.

I feel a tear trickle down my cheeks as loneliness creeps up to me. Naturally I begin to wonder where it all went wrong. Was it because of my decision to change schools? Was it because I was a coward? Or was it because this was what it was meant to be? A fleeting thought, but one that keeps me awake at night.

Its the first sunday of May of year 2023 and yet I am in my memories of my high school, the year 2018. Maybe I am a loser.

You see, what I am talking about is my first love, with whom I fell in deep and maybe that's why their memories haunt me still.
It wasn't anything serious and I didn't even feel that she was beautiful or even smart or anything of the sort, but as if by fate I was drawn to her like a moth to a fire. Maybe that's way exaggerated for someone who doesn't know a thing about love to talk about but she was special and in a way that I will never be able to forget her for the rest of my life. Maybe I'll find someone better, someone funnier, someone way cooler but no one like
her.

Everyday I wish I could see her face, just even a glimpse, but it saddens me how we have become so apart.

                     ********************

'Hey, get up, will you?'
My friend nudges me and i roll over to the other side of the bed.
'Hmm'.
'We've got exams coming. You tryna get an F?'.
I pretend I am deaf and quietly get up to freshen up myself.
Thing is I hate the people I have surrounded myself with. Sometimes I feel like crying about my situation. Like how did I even get myself into a situation like this?

'Ayo, Do i have to repeat myself a hundred times or what?'
'Oh my bad. Whatcha say?'
'Whatever dude. I said you coming with us for the movies?'
'Oh. Fine by me' .
'Got it. Be there by seven' .
'I will'.

Such a fucking retard. I would rather die than be in their company. Talk big and I am much of a idiot myself.