CHAPTER ONE
You know what I love the most besides movies, Elisha Cuthbert and of course my girlfriend? Well, not necessarily in that order. It’s proving people wrong. Yup, I just love it. The look of total surprise, confusion mixed with a tiny bit of anger and shame just makes my day. People take one look at me and think, he's just a kid! I don't mind it; it just makes the job that much more satisfying and it also works to my advantage most of the time. Like today for instance. The crowd was silent, some open mouthed, some were literally scratching their heads like some cartoon character and some were shaking their heads as if by shaking hard enough what they'd just seen would not be true or probably generate electricity. I smiled at all of them, making sure they took in all of me. Yes dear people, this is the face of the person who took out the mighty beast, the creature of your nightmares, the fugly SOB that made you shit your pants as often as possible. Tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell your wives, heck tell your mistresses. The mighty Aryan is in the house! I looked at the hideous carcass on the ground, a few inches away from my feet. It smelled like sewage. Light grey vapor was emanating from its body. Its massive wings were spread out, muddy and bloody. Its beak was wide open showing its large pointy teeth. Here’s a little G.K lesson for you, Garuda teeth can be sold for at least twenty grand easy. I took out my Khukuri. It was charmed and it could cut through anything. And I mean anything. I quickly cut the two large pointy teeth out and wrapped them carefully in a leather sheet, being careful not to touch the tip. One touch and I’d be a goner. I stuffed it into my bag. I looked up and I realized that no one had moved. They were still staring at me like I was some kind of monster too.
"Uh...anyone have a match?" I looked around hopefully. I had a lighter, but at times like these I found matches to be much more fun. Old school, you know.
A kid, about ten came out of the crowd and walked towards me. Without a word he handed me a box of matches. The boy ran away as soon as the box had been placed in my hand. Didn't they teach kids here not to play with matches? I opened my bag again and took out a can of lighter fluid. I poured its entire content onto the body. This was the part I liked the best. Call me crazy, but there just was something magical about a dead, ugly, smelly monster going poof. It had a calming effect on me. Granted, the smell wasn’t that thrilling. I opened the box of matches and struck one against the box. I took a few steps back and threw the match onto the carcass. There was a loud roar as the fire erupted and began eating through the body quickly. A few people screamed and a few cursed. I shook my head and stared at this beautiful sight for a moment and then began packing up my things. The spirit dagger was lying on the ground a few feet away. I picked it up and pocketed it. Never leave home without one. I picked up the shield which was my pride and joy. It was made up of brass and silver and had an awesome image of Iron Man etched on it. Okay all finished here. I looked around again; everyone was still staring at me. Seriously, this was getting creepy. I just saved their lives shouldn't they be crying with joy and wasting gallons of alcohol right now?
"Okay, so looks like I’m all done here. Who’s gonna pay me?" I asked looked at them expectantly.
Everyone was silent. No one came forward. Shit, were they trying to stiff me on this one? No way. I needed cash like right now and I was in no mood for morons who thought they could get away without paying me.
"Look, we had and agreement, I did what you asked and I need the dough promised to me okay? So who's in charge?" I asked the crowd quite loudly.
An old man with a beard that rivaled Gandalf’s coughed loudly and came towards me. He was holding the bills in his hands and I let out a sigh in relief. Relief that I didn't have to use extreme measures to get paid my due. He handed me the money and whispered a thank you.
