Hate The Game (COMPLETED)

Epilogue (Part 3)

Epilogue (Part 3)

"Ikaw ba 'yan Samuel?"

I smiled and bowed a little. Ang tagal na rin nung huli akong pumunta rito. Ang tagal ko ng gustong dumalaw pero lagi akong nagkakaroon ng dahilan kung bakit hindi ako matuluy-tuloy. Ewan ko. Pakiramdam ko nahihiya lang ako na bumalik. Para kasing wala na akong tamang nagawa sa buhay ko.

Bad decisions after bad decisions.

Wala akong pwedeng sisihing iba kung hindi ang sarili ko.

I failed the exam because I failed the exam—hindi kasalanan ni Deanne 'yon. I didn't study enough. Kasalanan ko 'yon. I just needed someone to blame because my pride couldn't handle it.

Failing is one thing...

But to be the only one who failed in the frat?

I was not able to handle it.

I said horrible words to her—I treated her even worse. Hiyang hiya ako sa sarili ko. I didn't get back together with her although everyone in my life told me to. Kasi alam nila na mas maayos ako kapag kasama ko siya. But I didn't deserve her after everything I put her through. Nahihiya akong humarap sa kanya. Mas madaling magtago.

I was certain na hindi na kami magkakabalikan. Hindi ko na talaga kayang humarap sa kanya. Ilang beses kong sinubukan, pero lagi akong natitigilan. She's fine already... bakit ko pa siya guguluhin? Nakita ko kung paano niya ako tignan nung gabing naghiwalay kami. I would not be able to forget that look on her face.

That I did that.

I caused that.

Kahit na sinabi ko dati na hinding-hindi ko siya sasaktan... I still did that... Just because my pride couldn't handle failing the exam.

So, I convinced myself to be okay with her not being in my life. Kasi ganon talaga. Hindi lahat ng gusto mo—kahit gaano mo pa ka-gusto—ay makukuha mo.

I focused on other things. I thought I would be good at my job. Kasi hindi naman porke bumagsak ako, hindi na ako magiging maayos na abogado...

God, I was wrong.

Every day the frat would tell me that I made the wrong decision tuwing hinaharang nila iyong trabaho ko. When I thought I was doing a good job and suddenly, everything would fall into pieces.

Akala ko nung una wala lang talaga akong kwentang abogado... until I realized that they were doing everything to sabotage my career.

Siguro iyon 'yung simula nung pagkaka-gulo ng buhay ko.

I should've just studied on my own.

I should've stayed far away from that fraternity.

Maybe I would've met Deanne in a different circumstances.

Maybe I would've been happy now.

"Ang tagal na nung huli tayong nagkita..." sabi niya sa akin habang naka-ngiti.

"Ang tagal na nga po," sagot ko. "Pasensya na po ngayon lang ako naka-dalaw, Father."

Dito ako pumasok ng seminaryo. Balak kong dalhin si Deanne dito dati dahil sobrang curious siya sa kung ano ang ginagawa sa seminaryo. Balak ko din sana siyang dalhin sa kung saan ako tumatambay dati kapag tumatakas ako. Balak ko rin siyang tugtugan ng piano dito kasi gusto niya rin 'yon.

Ang daming balak.

"Ayos lang," sagot ni Father. "Kamusta ka na?"

I gave him a small smile. He gently patted my head.