Dark Before the Dawn

Chapter 1

Elaine Poehler sat in the dinning room of the Charlottesville Juvenile Mental Health Institute, her parents beside her. Not as a patient this time, but as an Alumna - if you could call her clean bill of health, mental or otherwise, a Graduation. The eighteen year old Elaine did not. With the Halloween themed streamers, balloons, low lighting, and pop music playing in the background (not too loudly, mind), she could almost forget it was also the place she spent her hell-on-earth bout of Long Covid.

To put it simply, she was a never ending migraine for two years. A migraine caused by viral nerve damage to her brain. Specifically, the part of the brain that processed literally all of a persons senses. To look at anything for long was impossible. To hear anything above the lowest whisper was a nightmare. She literally felt the pain everywhere, though mainly in her head. From the top of her touch-sensitive head, down to her toes which jolted as if stabbed by pins and needles on steroids. There were dancing lights behind her eyes, she has impossibly big knots in her head, and was constantly on the verge of throwing up. It was as if there was lightning in her eyes, and knives in her mouth.

It would drive anyone crazy. Her parents didn't know what to do for her. She couldn't shower, could barely eat. Couldn't leave her room, let alone the house. She couldn't really blame them, except that she did. At least a little. They couldn't slow their lives down enough to bring her cereal and soup? Listen sympathetically to her complaints? Ok, possibly rants.

It got better over time while she was in the institution. It seemed to get worse at first. There was more hustle and bustle, and noise, and the suffering of the other patients. But the doctors insisted that immersion therapy was the cure. She just had to keep going. 'Pain management' is code for learning to be in pain, Elaine has learned. She would go to the common room when she could. She made some friends. She met Sunny. And Sunny Mehta really had been her sunlight in this eighth circle of hell. (Elaine had to believe there was something still worse in the ninth circle of hell for people that actually deserved it.)

The interactions had been short at first, but Elaine looked forward to each one of them, and would hold on to each moment for days afterward, replaying them in her mind. Sunny was in the institution for her lungs - also Long Covid. She could only move around short distances before getting out of breath. And sometimes, she would get stir crazy in her own body and go full tilt - to the bookstore, or for a run. (Elaine totally got that feeling of just wanting to go literally anywhere.) Sunny's passed out a few times that way. The doctors here are helping her to built up her lungs slowly and surely.

Then one day, during a scheduled visit, Sunny brought two of their friends with them. John and Jodi. They played the card game Exploding Kittens. The idea is to get hilarious matched pairs to help you, or hurt the other players - all while trying to avoid the exploding kittens in the deck. Elaine kept an open hand, and Sunny would read the cards for her and make Elaine's moves for her. Thank God for kind people. Elaine felt almost normal - laughing and planning her moves - at least for a little while. She came in second - Jodi winning.

When the other two left, Sunny blurt out, "John treats me like I'm cute, it's so annoying."

Elaine was startled. "You are cute," she pointed out.

"But you don't treat me all diminutively," Sunny said, making her point - though her voice softened a bit. "Just because I'm small doesn't mean I need help with getting popcorn, or a lecture on how I shouldn't overdo my training."

Elaine took a peek at Sunny's petite frame and gushed internally. "That's right, you're kickass, Sunny," Elaine agreed, and Sunny laughed, pleased. Sunny's bright laugh made Elaine's stomach flutter.

"So are you, El," she said. "Whenever you get knocked down, you get back up again. You had a big session yesterday, but you didn't cancel today. And you've started online classes. That's huge."

"Hugely painful," Elaine said.

Sunny laughed. "Hugely amazing."

A pause. "So, can I still think you're cute? Because, I don't think I can stop."

Sunny came closer, wide bashful smile on her face. "Only if - if I can think of you as super hot."

Elaine's face flushed. "Okay," she agreed. She leaned in, and closed her hand over Sunny's. Her fingers were warm. Her skin soft.

Sunny kissed her cheek, and a burst of warmth filled Elaine's body. Her skin tingled where Sunny's lips had been. Elaine looked at her full lower lip. Talk about motivated therapy. She never wanted to stop looking at Sunny. Elaine kissed her softly, her plump lips responding just as gently. Elaine bit her lip grazingly. Sunny's mouth opened and Elaine delved her tongue inside. She rubbed her palms over Sunny's arms, thumbs rubbing circles on her skin. Sunny ran her hands around her waist. Feeling the curves of her sides, touching the line of her spine.

Elaine has kissed boys and girls before, but it's never felt like this. All consuming. And like her heart would burst. That gushing feeling multiplying a hundred times over. Elaine wished she was normal so Sunny could tug on her hair, cup the nape of her neck. Sunny ran a hand along her chest, and Elaine stopped wasting her time on thinking about what 'should be'.

Elaine is brought back to reality with a text message from an unknown number. It reads, "How's the party? Stay there, or meet me in the woods. Either way. Eta 1 hr."

Elaine was dumbstruck. Who was it? Some of the gang went into the woods sometimes. They had a special place. Somewhere to be themselves, away from the watchful eyes of the staff. But Jodi was already here, and Elaine didn't think any more of them were coming tonight. Her heart fluttered at the possibilities. Then sank. Could it be some kind of prank? Some of her 'alumni' could be shitty like that. And it was Halloween. Who the hell thought it was a good idea to throw a Halloween party for former mental patients?! The idea, she knew, was to cut through their fears. Something the staff always emphasized. But, it clearly wasn't a good idea in practice. Goosebumps prickled her skin.

"Who is this?" Elaine typed back.

There was no response.