Can I Really Change Things? (ON HOLD)

Chapter 50

TaiFeng sat at her desk and stared dazedly at her empty sword stand.

Fang Zishu was gone. Really gone this time. And Juexin was God knows where. Her hands went toward her left arm as she subconsciously rubbed where her tattoo was. A mighty dragon, huh? It was meant to be a sign of strength, of willpower. 

But all she could think of was that sickening feeling in her stomach as she plummeted further and further down, blood spraying, bones shattering, writhing about in constant agony until-No, don't think about it. It's in the past. 

She died once; she came back. Everything that happened was in another life; there was no use in dwelling on it. 

Just focus on your work. Right, she was here for a reason; she should get her head in the game. 

Fishing through her desk for talisman paper, she just sighed and ignored the throbbing pain in her back. 

She could deal with it later, or maybe she'd go to the hot springs later. That would be nice. 

She just pushed the feeling in the pit of her stomach away. As she started making talismans, her hands just moved on their own. 

Her brush moved robotically as she had just made talisman after talisman like a printing machine.

"It's already that late?" TaiFeng looked out of the window to see a darkening sky.

'When your life falls apart, the rest of the world still moves on without you.' TaiFeng looked dourly at her desk. Well, maybe she could have a quick soak in the hot springs.

TaiFeng dazedly walked along the brown gravel path; the stones were smooth and shiny and had about four shades of brown. Right, ChenHe picked it, didn't he? He said it would go against the dark plants along the edges. What did he call it, Three Shades of Autumn or something? Taifeng didn't really understand it, but he looked so happy, so she just let him do whatever he wanted. 

Foxgloves and pansies were dotted along the soil, along with a few ferns. Come to think of it, were those pansies always there? They looked new. Did they grow while she was gone? She wondered what else had changed while she was gone. 

There were a few extra lanterns dotted around the area, which looked more like they were purely for illumination than decoration. Probably Gao Song's idea. Although, she could see that somebody had moved some delphinium plant pots next to the stands. 

As she gazed at the well-arranged plant pots, she couldn't help but think that it was probably ChenHe's idea to make them look aesthetically pleasing. She could almost picture him fussing over every detail, complaining about the lack of balance and harmony, until he finally decided to drag the pots over himself.

TaiFeng had already arrived at the entrance to the hot springs. The sliding door had a patched-up hole from when YiZhang was mopping the floor and slipped and fell head-first into it. It took ten whole minutes to get him out, mainly because Gao Song and Gao Liang couldn't stop laughing, and ChenHe tried to paint a portrait of the whole thing. 

TaiFeng closed the door and messily flung her clothes over the clothes rack; bits of dry blood clung to the insides, but she could do her laundry later. 

TaiFeng gently eased herself into the hot springs, trying not to aggravate her wounds any further. 

"Ahh, this is pretty nice." She sighed. Come to think of it, she had never actually tried it; she was just always too busy. Busy, huh? She would definitely be busy for the next... Well, she'd be busy. Back when she was Jennifer, she barely did anything.

 She lazed about in her dirty little flat, watching dramas and eating discount junk food. And then, all of a sudden, she was thrust into a world that she had to carry on her shoulders. Perhaps it would have been better if she had just walked past Wei Ying that day they met. No, she wouldn't have been able to live with herself if she had done that.