Purge (Star Wars)

Contradictions

Ilyana woke before the rest of the crew and now stands outside the ship, watching the dawn break through the mountains and listening to the wind through the ravine. The sands out beyond the canyon look as though they are on fire with the morning light and creatures can be seen wandering in search of food and water before the full heat of the day sets in.

Cal approaches her carrying a light brown poncho in one hand while BD-1 follows close behind. "Merrin and I are going into town to see if the boy has come back yet."

"Are you still afraid I'll hurt him?" Ilyana asks with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Actually, I have something I want you to work on while we're gone."

"Yes?" she says, turning to him and her posture shifts from a casual stance to one tall and stiff as if prepared to take orders.

"When we met in the mines and you raised your staff with the Force, how did you do it, what were you thinking?"

"I needed the staff so I took it."

"That's all?"

"Yes."

"So you used it out of instinct?"

"Yes."

Cal looks around, scanning the ground for something and considering telling her that he is not her commander or her master; there's no need to address him so formally. Frankly, he does not care for it but now is not the time. Cal steps forward and picks up a small stone.

"This time," he says to her, walking back to her and holding up the stone, "don't think about the object but the space between the stone and yourself. The Force exists all around us, between us, it connects everything. Try to connect to the Force deliberately, as a way of being rather than as a tool to be used."

Cal places the stone on the ground about five feet ahead of her, "Focus on the stone and try to see, in your mind, how the Force connects you to it."

Cal turns from Ilyana and walks toward the edge of the outcrop as he tosses the poncho over his head and affixes the straps that provide BD-1 with an anchor. He crouches down at the edge and tosses his legs over. BD-1 runs up and jumps on his back then Cal climbs down into the ravine below. At the bottom he walks on in silence for a while, lost in thought. The only sounds, the wind rushing through gaps in the rock and BD-1 occasionally jumping down from his back and scampering off to scan a small plant or rock of interest.

After a time, Cal reaches the end of the ravine where the sharp red rocks of the mountains give way to the flat open desert and the town on the horizon. The light brown of his poncho blends in so well with the hard packed and cracking ground of the badlands that he does not have to take any extra precautions to hide his movement. From a distance, one would scarcely be able to locate him without already knowing he was there. Normally, he is not overly concerned with stealth but the arrival of an Imperial defector in their midst has put them at even greater risk than usual, and he does not want to chance that others will learn where they've landed.

"Am I taking too much of a risk with her?" Cal asks BD-1, breaking the silence. "Am I putting the others in danger by keeping her on board?"

BD-1 chitters back inquisitively in droid binary.

"No, I don't think she'll hurt them. Besides, Cere can handle her if she does try anything, but having her with us does make the target on our back even bigger."

BD-1 chitters again.

"The leads?' Cal asks tilting his head, "I don't know. It seemed like a good deal in the mines but we already know this one is false and she said herself that they rarely actually go anywhere."

BD-1 warbles sadly.

"Yeah, it might be that the other two come up empty as well, which means we've taken a big risk for no reward."

BD-1 chirps hopefully.

"You're right," Cal laughs softly, "we did get her. That's one Force sensitive at least and unlike the kids on the holocron she already knows how to fight." He shakes his head. "She is risky though. She's already walking a thin line with the Dark Side. It might not take much for her to give in to it."

BD-1 peers over his shoulder at him and chitters hopefully.

"I hope you're right buddy."

Cal and BD-1 continue on in silence as the sun rises swiftly higher in the sky, bringing with it the heat of the day. By the time they are halfway to the town the crisp morning air has all burned away and mirages begin to appear, floating just above the ground. Suddenly a swirling green cloud of flame, taller than Cal, roars to life nearby. Yet he continues walking without altering his pace.

"Why are you walking out here?" Merrin's voice emanates from the flames as she steps through, "I could have brought you to the town much more quickly."

"I know," answers Cal. "I just needed some time to think."

"Then I should go and leave you to your thoughts."

"No, please stay. There's something I'd like to talk to you about."

"Go on."

Though Merrin has not been a part of their crew as long as Cere and Greez, Cal has come to rely on her insight just as much as the others; sometimes even more. Her lived experience has been dramatically different from his yet stained with just as much loss and betrayal that she is able to both understand his feelings, suspicions, and apprehension while offering an entirely different perspective.

"It's about Ilyana," Cal begins, "I put all of you at risk bringing her on the ship and..."

"I support your decision," she interrupts.

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. You give people chances."

Cal smiles then shakes his head, "I can't figure her out though. One minute she's relaxed and easy to talk to and the next she's..." he trails off.

"An Imperial?"

"Yeah, it's like she's two different people."

"She is two different people."

Cal comes to a halt, "What do you mean?"

"Part of her is what remains of the person she was before the Empire took her, but another part is the person they imprinted on her. Neither of those people are whole and they are in conflict with each other."

"How do we help someone like that?" Cal asks and begins walking again.

"I do not think we do," says Merrin, falling into step beside him, "She has a choice to make. At some point she will have to decide who she wants to be."

Merrin notices Cal lower his gaze as they walk. She knows his instinct is to help people and that makes it difficult for him to stand by and do nothing even when there is nothing he can do.

"How long will we stay on this planet?" she asks, changing the subject.

"Well, the man at the courier's office said the kid could be back any day now."

"If you continue to wait for this boy to return, you risk failing to reach the other potentials in time. You already know this boy is not what you are looking for, why stay?"

Cal stops and looks at her with surprise, "We can't leave him here for the Inquisitors to find. They'll kill him."

"You cannot save everyone, Cal. You have a choice to make too."