WHISPERS OF A BUTTERFLY • Kamisato Ayato

fifteen. 十五

Thoma returned with a letter from Ayaka, pleading you to temporarily hold office in the Kamisato Estate while the private investigation commenced. The Traveler had taken another commission with Heizou to begin investigating, and your parents were hidden away in a safe location as was Chisato.

"The Traveler has been informed of our route," he said. "He's ready to patrol it along with the rest of his party, including young master Kaedehara."

That evening, you and Ayato departed for the Kamisato Estate.

Once again, you found yourself in the same carriage traveling towards the same place. This time, neither you nor Ayato were arguing. Only now could you see how terrifying Inazuma looked in the darkness. Your eyes grew strained as you glanced outside, looking for shadows that didn't exist. You imagined the crowds of enemies you couldn't anticipate.

"The Shuumatsuban are watching over us," Ayato reassured you, but even he sounded tense. "Please don't worry, F/N."

You didn't rebuke him when he placed a hand on your thigh, though it should be inappropriate. You wanted to feel safe. Under different circumstances, you would have laughed at the irony: Ayato, the man whom you'd thought was your greatest enemy, was now the only person you trusted and felt safe around.

"I know," he said softly. "Things like this have happened to me, too. But that's part of being a commissioner. You must be brave even if there will always be someone who doesn't want you to lead."

You glanced at Ayato, astonished. You had thought that he was above everything and that everybody bowed down to his will. You never realized just how much he was carrying on his shoulders—his family, all of Inazuma, hell, even his own life.

Now, you were getting a taste of what it must have been like for him when his parents died and he was all the Kamisato Clan had left. Now, in the same way, you were all the Hiragi Clan had left.

The realization fell on you like a pile of bricks.

"There was more to the reason why you cut me off all those years ago, wasn't there?" you asked quietly. "It wasn't just for your clan's safety, it was for mine too."

You understood now. Ayato had left you standing in the rain, telling you to your face that he could no longer associate with you because if he hadn't, you would have become a target by everyone that had tried to hurt him while he was ascending to becoming head of the clan.

Ayato's steely gaze fell. "F/N."

He always knew what to say.

"You should have told me," you whispered. "I could have—I could have helped you."

But you knew that wasn't true. Even when you did have the power, it was Ayato who saved you, Ayato who helped you, who gave you everything he could give you no matter how many times you refused him. He gave you a rueful smile, and only there did it strike you how incredibly tired he looked, so wholly different from the confident, authoritative person he was.

"If they had known how much I cared about you, you would have been harmed a long time ago," he said. He sighed. "I couldn't protect you forever. I guess that in the end, it still happened because of me."

"Don't say that."

"I was young and stupid, and I was terrified," he admitted. "I was already scared of what they might do to Ayaka. If I had dragged you into it... I loathe imagining the outcome. You might have been poisoned, kidnapped, or worse to force me into giving up. I couldn't let that happen."

'Ayato' and 'scared' were two words you couldn't piece together in the same sentence. To you, he had always seemed fearless.

"You should have told me," you repeated.