we were all sitting in class waiting in our seats, all but one. As the professor walked in gaining the attention of everyone in the room. It was a shame when I glanced around and didn't see Mickey in his usual spot, however having a lecture hall that was as wide as ours it could be possible that I simply just overlooked him.
As the professor started the lesson and 20 minutes had gone by some of the student's attention was dragged towards the door as Mickey walked in and rushed to find a seat. I lower my head "It would be weird if I kept staring. He might not recognize me anyway...right?
Mickey seems to find a seat that is slightly far from me and I begin to question why am I paying so much attention to this man when all we had was one encounter in the cafe and it lasted just a second.
"I'm being silly. Let me focus on my work" I thought.
We reach the break point of the lecture and I start to hear shuffling and talking in the lecture hall as everyone starts small talk with the person beside them.
That is when I noticed...why am I seated alone? In a very packed lecture hall at that? I was then struck with a thought.
"When was the last time I had someone to talk to? Someone to call a friend?"
Something wasn't right here...I didn't want to think much about it, I didn't want to remember, so I continued to review my notes in my own peace... But was I truly at peace?
That was until I realized the sound of shuffling coming from next to me, when I looked up I saw that it was Mickey.
"Hey." He said excitedly "You're Ryan right? I'm Mickey from the cafeteria remember?"
"Yeah, I do, Hey" I'm shocked at first but Mickey being his...usual chatty self? -How...do I know this?"- we managed to talk more until the lecture break finally came to an end and we quickly returned to our work to not miss anything important.
I soon realized that a smile had crept its way onto my face.
I then realized that I was feeling a sense of...was it familiarity? A familiar emotion? That I have not felt for a long time. Could it have been love?
Yes, I fell in love once.
I turn to reach out for...my love? to feel him one last time like I did before? In the past? But he is no longer there. I jump out of my seat "MICKEY?!" All eyes immediately turn to me.
"Mickey has been gone for 2 years now Ryan, it's time you move on!!" The professor yells from the front of the class.
I then jolted up out of my...sleep? Yes...I was sleeping, seems to be all I do now.
I look around my apartment which is now a mess that is getting harder and harder to maintain. "It was just the same dream again."
Yes, that is all it was, just a dream, just a memory. Which is all that it could be considered now.
No more meet-ups
No more laughs
No more lecture halls
No more... "us." Just a memory left with me alone.
"After I lost you 2 years ago it seems I still can't move on...I wish you were here with me so every day could be less painful."
"Or maybe that we have never met?"
I miss you. No....
I hate you.
