The Songs of the Sun and Moon

A light in the darkness

Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of violence, self harm and suicidal ideation. View at your own discretion.

I made myself cry while writing this. Get ready for gut twisting angst.

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For once, she woke up on time; getting dressed, brushing her teeth and hair, and changing the bandages on her arm. She shouldered on her jacket and grabbed her bags before heading downstairs to the kitchen. Her mother sat at the table, sipping a cup of coffee and staring out the window. As soon as Luz came in she looked in her direction and smiled tightly.

"Good morning Luz."

Still angry at her mother, Luz grunted and nodded, walking to the fridge to grab an orange. She sat across from her mother, but didn't look up at her as she peeled her fruit.

Camila opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind. The two sat in silence for the twenty minutes before both had to leave the house; Luz nibbled on her orange while Camila read through the newspaper.

Both stood and grabbed their things, not acknowledging one another. Luz stepped into the cold and began to walk towards school, while Camila climbed into her car and watched her only child walk away.

"Oh Manny...what am I doing wrong?", she whispered to herself.

Camila pulled out of the driveway and began her twenty minute drive to work. As soon as she stepped into the vet office, there was an emergency surgery she had to perform immediately.

Two hours later, she finally sat down in the breakroom, blowing on her second cup of coffee for the day. She stared at the wall, lost in thought until her coworker came in. Emily dropped into the seat next to Camila with her own cup.

"Jeez, so much chaos and it's only eight in the morning! How're you holding up Cam?", the woman said with a soft, playful smile.

"Oh I'm doing fine today!", she pulled her face into a soft smile, or at least she thought she did.

"Hmm...bullshit. We've been working together for awhile now Hun. I can tell when something's wrong so spill."

Dammit.

"What happened in the last twenty-four hours?", Emily added with a soft and kind voice.

"I- well me and Luz had a fight of sorts. This morning she barely looked at me! I do my best with her but she wont even meet me halfway. Luz- she doesn't talk to me, hasn't really since Manny passed. Sometimes I wish he were still here, he would know what to do..."

Emily furrowed her brows, "Cam, as someone who's dealt with sever depression, its obvious that she's probably dealing with that. I can't exactly diagnose her though."

"Depression? No no, she's just being a typical teen! I was distant and closed off with my parents when I was her age. I think this is how they felt about me", she weakly chuckled.

Her coworker however was not convinced, in fact she looked annoyed, "Why are you so quick to dismiss the possibility that your child has a mental health issue? Her father died plus everything else that comes with a typical teenager! Okay, so she's closed off and distant; is she eating properly and getting enough sleep? Are you observing if she's eating enough at home? How late does she stay up?"

"I don't know Emily! She doesn't talk to me!"

"Fucking hell Cam! Are you using your eyes? Does she seem oddly scrawny for her age and height? How sever are the dark circles under her eyes? These are things she's not going to use her words to tell you, she's expecting you to notice just because you are her parent. And quit making all this about you because it's not. It's about your daughter. Her mental health, not yours."