Goodbye.
March 2010
Asiya Bare '10
Heartlands Academy
The wind is gentle, but stings like hundreds of icy fingers against my skin. The grass is long and damp, the bottom of my jeans are already soaked.
It's dark, but the moon is bright, silhouetting my way in chalky light.
It doesn't make a difference, really. I could find the way with my eyes closed.
And there it is. A lonely wooden bench under a tree.
I sit down stiffly. My lips and fingers are probably blue with cold. I don't look because I'm keeping my eyes closed.
I want to remember everything, even though it hurts. I want to picture his bright blue eyes and daft floppy hair.
Elliot's suddenly sitting next to me. It's February, and it's daytime. Jasper has just left and I'm waiting for the bus. He's left me a book and I'm reading it.
"'sup, Mags?" Elliot asks. I pretend not to hear. He leans closer.
"What are you reading?"
Again, I ignore him. He swings his school bag, nudging my legs. I slide father down the bench.
He's quite good looking, even I could admit that, but knows it too well. Jasper thought he was a joke. I agreed. He'd do impressions of Elliot during PE, puffing out our chest and jogging around me, tossing his hair about.
A different scene flashed before my eyes. It's the end of P.E and I'm alone in the changing room. I've just stripped down into my bra and underwear when the door bursts open and Elliot's standing there.
I shriek and dive behind my coat. He stands there, in the doorway, simply gawking.
"Do you mind?" I snap.
Shaking his head he says "Sorry, Maggie." And leaves.
So he was spying on me? I was not impressed.
Did he tell anyone? Did Jasper know?
And now I'm standing in art class. I'm sharpening my pencil at the bin. Elliot comes over.
"I'll do that for you." He offers. I snatch my pencil away.
"I'm capable, thanks."
He shrugs, looking down at the bin. I almost daren't believe it, but he's blushing. It is quite amusing. It must be the first time a girl doesn't go all drippy over him.
"Are you going to Sarah's party tonight?" He asks. I stare at him. I always give peoples parties a miss. The music's bad and the smoke gets to me.
"Maybe." I say. I go back to my seat.
But for some reason I find myself going to the party. I suppose I was flattered by the attention I wasn't even seeking.
I didn't tell Jasper. He wasn't going to be there, anyway.
I didn't dress up or anything. I stood in front of the mirror in my knickers and pants, wandering what had changed his mind about me that day.
I'm quite skinny, but strong. My legs and arms are well shaped and my stomach's flat, but so is my chest, and my bum is hardly impressive.
Why did I care? For goodness sake, Jasper likes me, and he's never seen me naked.
But Jasper's my best friend.
And Elliot's just a random boy in my year.
The party was typically loud and smoky. I hung by the door, scanning the sea of bodies.
