071. text messages

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[messages between zoe and nate]

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[messages between zoe and nate]

zoe
hey um are you awake?

nate
yeah i'm awake
are you okay?

zoe
yes
no
kind of

nate
did something happen?
are you okay?

zoe
i'm fine
taz asked me to move in with him and i don't know how i feel about it

nate
are you worried that it's too soon?

zoe
no, i honestly don't give a shit about that
turns out if you sneak around with your boyfriend for a couple of months, you end up not really caring about what other people have to say about anything

nate
so do it then
what's the problem?

zoe
i don't know if i can just uproot my whole life like this. i worked so hard for so long to get the deal with my record label. i can't just move halfway across the world

nate
you have two albums under your belt and you're halfway through making the next one. i'm sure london has record labels. you can get another record deal

zoe
it's not just about the record label. you and ethan are the only family i have left. i've never lived anywhere else. i don't know if i can just leave

nate
me and ethan aren't your responsibility. if you want to go, then you should go

zoe
why does it kind of sound like you want me to leave?

nate
i don't want you to go, but i want you to be okay and that just isn't happening here. you're coping, but i want more for you than just coping. you deserve better than that

zoe
so you want me to uproot my entire life on a hunch that i would be better off living somewhere else?

nate
you texted me because you obviously want my opinion. this is it

zoe
i texted you because i'm confused and i thought talking to you would help
you're the only person who's just going to be worried about what's best for me
all of my friends are also taz's friends so they're going to be thinking about him too

nate
what's confusing about it?

zoe
i just feel like i'm being pulled in two different directions. i feel like i have to choose between taz and everyone else and i don't want to fucking choose

nate
you don't have to choose. the only thing that would change is where you'll be living. you and bree have been friends since you were kids. friendship like that won't just die, especially after everything that's happened. and frankly, ethan would kill me if i let him go more than a week without talking to you
deep down you know what you want to do. if it was a no, you wouldn't even be texting me about it, you would have just told taz that straight up. but if the only thing that's keeping you from saying yes is because you're about all of us, then don't let it. you won't lose us. i promise

zoe
and what if you're wrong? what if i move there and all i have is taz and i get too busy to pick up the phone and i don't speak to any of you for months and then i get too scared to call because it's been too long and then he's all i have?

nate
that won't happen

zoe
BUT WHAT IF IT DOES

nate
zoe, you looked bree and jay in the face and told them both to fuck off and they told you no. do you really think they're going to let you move away and never speak to them again?

zoe
no i guess not

nate
exactly
so stop worrying about all of us and just do whatever you want to do

zoe
okay

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