In another life.

The realization.

Amanda paced around the dingy makeshift surgery room, the sound of her heavy boots hitting the floor echoed throughout. The gun that she gripped in her hand so tightly pointed at Lynn every now and then, before she fully came to a halt and kept it pointed at the woman. Albeit her hand a little Shakey, maybe a part of her didn't want to shoot the woman, maybe some part of her would regret it, but she deemed it necessary as she went on and on about how she didn't deserve the life she had. How she didn't deserve to keep living it.

Until John pipped up. Amanda's head whipped around in an instant to the dying bed ridden man, her brows furrowed with frustration and sorrow, keeping the gun pointed at Lynn.

" Why does she matter so fucking much to you?!"

Amanda barked at John, her body shaking with more rage than she ever had felt in her life . She didn't mean to yell she hated yelling at John, he meant alot to her and she depended on him maybe an unhealthy amount, like a father and his unhinged daughter in some sick way. And then she froze at his words. "She's not important to me, but to you." Johns words rang out in her head, and she looked back for a moment at Lynn, her hand shaking just slightly. Her eyes had the slightest softness in them, gazing at the woman in the shotgun collar she built - trailing her eyes up and down the woman.. longingly. Though not for long, Amanda's head shook softly making those thoughts go away. No. She was her test subject and she couldn't be thinking like that.

"She doesn't mean shit to me."

Amanda spat our through gritted teeth. A lie. She had a soft spot for the doctor secretly, not that shed ever admit such a thing, not the she COULD. Just something shed add to the pile of things buried deep within in her. For the better.

And then a thud. It all was so sudden. A searing hot pain in her throat, and the sound of the gun she held onto tightly clattered to the ground. A Shakey hand reached up to where it burned, and her hand was covered in red. Foul metallic smelling red liquid. Her eyes wandered back over to Lynn and.. Jeff. Amandas brows furrowed in grief and hurt as she fell to her knees, feeling her muscles staring to go lip, the cold floor felt so nice underneath her. So comfortable..

"Lynnie..?"

Amanda weakly called out, her blood covered hand reached out to the doctor, who was next to her husband as John had revealed. Her eyelids fluttered and vision was getting blurry but she could just barely make out the image of Lynn crawling over to her, the sound of Jeff yelling something. Angry. He sounded mad but Amanda couldn'take it out, only the feeling of gently hands cradling her close, as she layed there, weakly in the others arms. Lynn's voice was hard to make out, but it comforted her in a way.

And then her eyes finally fluttered shut, and she let the darkness consume her. At peace for the first time in forever it seemed. At least. For the time being.