Museum Studies

Who's the new guy?

It was strange, but an odd kind of friendship blossomed between Wamuu and Roberta. She would bring him chocolate and news of the outside world, keeping him up on everything he'd missed whilst frozen in the stone, and he provided excellent company. It was strange that a giant ancient warrior could be such a good conversationalist, and yet Roberta clung onto every word of his. He'd tell her stories of his exploits, and the curator would always be disappointed when the alarm she set on her phone would go off, and she'd have to head back home. She'd freeze him back into stone, as they'd agreed, and she'd go back to her apartment.

Wamuu wasn't her only new friend, though. Roberta had been visiting Avdol and Polnareff to train her stand, and LDG was getting easier and easier to use. She just had to think something, and the stand would respond to her instincts. It was truly an extension of her, and Living Dead Girl's powers were always useful in her field of work. Not only that, her bandages were incredibly strong, meaning that Roberta could deflect projectiles or dangle from a beam with them. She'd sometimes train alongside Kylie, and Roberta's shift in mood ever since she'd started talking to Wamuu was obvious.
"You're, like, way happier now. Did something good happen at work?" She asked.
"You could say that." Roberta replied with a sly grin.
"Ooooh, did you meet a guy? Tell me more!"
"Ask no secrets, tell no lies." Was all that Roberta said, making Kylie giggle.

"You don't have to stay overtime all the time, you know." Kakyoin said one day, over lunch.
"Hey, I'm getting paid for it. Anyway, I'm making some serious progress on restoring our archives." Roberta replied over a prawn sandwich.
"True, true..." Kakyoin smiled at the thought of the freshly restored woodblock prints. "I suppose that if you arrive later you can stay overtime, I'll change your shifts. Just promise me one thing."
"What's that?" Roberta asked.
"You don't ever restore the vault. It's where we keep Santana, the other Pillar Man."
"Wamuu's brother." Roberta said on instinct, remembering Wamuu's story of the serpent in the cradle, then mentally slapped herself for it.
"How did you know his name?!" Kakyoin gasped. He'd only ever referred to Wamuu as the Sandstone Warrior.
"I read it in a file." Roberta replied. Kakyoin sighed in relief, terrified at the idea of her talking to the statue.
"Ok, good. Just worried there. Anyway, you must NEVER awaken Santana, as he's a lot wilder than Wamuu, if our records are correct."
"He crawls into people's heads and eats their brains." Jotaro said.
"JoJo, not whilst I'm eating!"

"Your brother's in the vault." Roberta said. Everyone had gone home except for her, as usual, and she was talking to an untagged Wamuu.
"I know, pillar people can sense each other. Do you plan on awakening him?" Wamuu asked.
"I was told not to. I mean, isn't he wilder than you?"
"True. Anyway, he won't necessarily be happy to see me. I wish I could awaken him, but I'd be unable to. After all, UV light would kill me, and it would be far too dangerous for you to. You could lose your job- or your life."
Roberta sighed, and sat down cross-legged.
"I know that he's your brother, but what about your parents?" She asked. Wamuu paused, then looked away.
"I do not wish to continue this line of conversation. It's been tricky enough talking about Santana. And how come you don't let me go outside?"
"Wamuu, if the night guard saw that the museum's biggest statue was missing, they would..."
The warrior leaped off his pedestal, and raced out via the backdoor, miraculously not setting off any tags.

"Wamuu!" Roberta gasped, as the sound of wind howling filled her ears. Wamuu walked back in, carrying a stone statue of himself that was an exact resemblance.
"I've made a decoy, the guards won't be able to tell." He said with a prideful air, putting it in the case.
"How did you do that?!" Roberta gabbled. Was he secretly an artist?!
"I used a boulder from outside and my Divine Sandstorm. Rather easy, actually."
"I..." Roberta sighed, then shook her head with a smile.
"Ok, fine, I'll take you out for the night. I'm playing roller derby tonight, so I'll take you to watch." She said, leading him out the backdoor and locking up.
"Roller derby? I've never heard of such a sport. You talk about it, but you've never explained what it is." Wamuu asked.
"It's like a chariot race and a gladiator fight with no blood, and the chariots are tiny and on our feet."
Wamuu's normally stoic face broke into a grin.
"A chariot race! How I wish I'd awakened my steeds, I'd take you for a ride in my chariot."
"In the future, maybe. But right now-"
Roberta gestured to Wamuu's gladiator sandals, crop top and thong loincloth.
"We need to get you some clothes!"

With an hour to go until she went skating, and her roller derby gear safe in the duffle bag she'd brought with her that morning, Roberta led Wamuu to a goodwill.
"Just get some stuff that modern humans wear and I'll pay." She said. "And I'll help you hide your horn."
Wamuu nodded, and Roberta led him to the changing rooms without anyone noticing. He'd gotten some random clothes he liked the look of from the racks, and was currently getting them on. Sure, he was size XXXXL, but anyone with so much muscle that their arsecheeks could crush steel would.
"Is this acceptable?" Wamuu asked, throwing open the curtain, and Roberta had to stifle a shrieking laugh that would've awakened the dead. Wamuu was wearing a hot pink bedazzled crop top that said "REAL MEN GET PEGGED" in neon green letters, a furry jaguar-print jacket, some (very tight) camo hotpants, and neon purple uggs.
"What's so humorous?" He asked, po-faced.
"Wamuu, oh my god... What are you wearing?!" Roberta cackled.
"Camouflage helps me hide in the forest. Jaguar skins are worn by warriors, purple is the colour of kings- and I like the shiny bits on this top, although I don't know what it says."
"Ok, fair enough... But people are gonna notice you like this. Maybe go for camo trousers instead of hotpants?"
"Fine." He said, turning to change. The hotpants were really riding up, and LDG giggled at this.
I hate to see him go, but I loooove watching him leave...

Dressed in his new finery, with a tube of CVS own-brand concealer covering his tattoo, Wamuu sat in the bleachers. He watched as Roberta skated against the Big Apple Battle-axes' latest foes, the Hackensack Harlots. As the jammer, she skated ahead, looping past the opposing team again and again. Lights flashed and music blared from the sound systems, and the announcer was going absolutely crazy, his tall baseball cap nearly falling off as he yelled out scores.
"And Scare Dinkum scores another point for the Battle-axes! Although she went out a few weeks ago for injury, Dinkum's back in the game, bringing thunder from down under, just as she did against the Philly Princesses! Let's get scary, girls!"
Britney Fears, the jammer from the Harlots wasn't having it though. As Roberta sailed past on her quad skates, she lashed out, and tripped her.
"Shit!"
She flew off the track, smacking onto the floor. The crowd "OOOOHHH!!!"-ed in response, and Wamuu jumped out of his seat.
"Roberta!" Wamuu gasped. She slowly got back up, and gave a savage grin.
"That all you got, Britney? The only thing to fear about you is that clumsy skating!"
"OOOOOOHHHH!!!" Kylie squealed. Roberta got back onto the track, and at the blow of the whistle, set back skating. Nothing was gonna bring her down today, especially not a little snot like Britney!

"CHAMPIONS! CHAMPIONES!!!!"
It had been neck-and-neck, but the Battle-axes had won the match by just a single point. Roberta went to shake Britney's hand, and despite being bitchy, the rival jammer was at least a good sportswoman and shook it.
"Great job, everyone!" Dana grinned. "How about a round of drinks at Tropicana?"
"I'm in." Roberta replied. The spectators were all leaving, and yet Wamuu was still there, leaning against the bleachers.
"Heyyyy, who's tall, dark and handsome over there?" Valerie asked. Roberta noticed Wamuu, and racked her brains for a human name.
"Oh, um, that's..."
Wamuu. Wham. That's the band with George Michael. What's Spanish for George? Jorge!
"Jorge Miguelos." She said.
"Hiii Jorge!" Kylie squealed. Roberta motioned at Wamuu to play along, and he walked over. His... Unique fashion sense puzzled the other girls, and yet Roberta seemed so at ease with him. To Kylie, it was unbelievable. Roberta had been so bold in the past, but as an adult she'd become an anxious, over-apologising, stressy wreck- and yet here she was, laughing like she used to.

"Wanna come to Club Tropicana with us?" Roberta asked. "It's, like, my favourite bar."
"I'd be honoured. It's been an eternity since I've been out for the night." He replied. Roberta had taken her skates off, yet as she turned to walk out the bar, her ankle twinged with the bruise left there by Britney.
"Owww!" She gasped. Without even being asked, Wamuu picked her up, and pulled her into a piggyback.
"Rest your ankle, I'll take you there if you direct me." He said.
"You don't have t..."
"It's what any good friend would do if he's able to." Wamuu replied, and Roberta directed him out the gym and down the road.
"Man, she's got him well trained." Dana said.
"You can say that again..." Valerie laughed, thinking of the slogan on Wamuu's shirt.
"Wonder where she found him? He doesn't sound like a New Yorker." Kylie wondered.
"Oh, um, he visited the museum a few weeks ago. He's just immigrated from, uh... Mexico!" Roberta yelled over her shoulder.
And on that note, she led them to Club Tropicana.